VIDEO REVIEW: Special Mission Lady Chaplin

VIDEO REVIEW: From The Orient With Fury

VIDEO REVIEW: Mission Bloody Mary

i Spy Eurospy: Special Mission Lady Chaplin

Special Mission Lady Chaplin

Director: Alberto De Martino & Sergio Grieco

Year 1966

Special Mission Lady Chaplin is the third and most competent entry in the Dick Malloy secret agent series, allowing for Ken Clark's death defying agent to really soar next to the ranks of uber-agent James Bond. In this mission, Malloy is assigned to retrieve a cache of nuclear warheads that have recently been stolen from a downed submarine, by a diabolical deep sea salvager who moonlights as a submarine researcher and millionaire extraordinaire, named Kobre Zoltan. To spice things up a bit, Zoltan's chief henchmen is a henchwoman named Lady Chaplin. She's a master of disguise whose talents abound from performing merciless assassinations while dressed as a nun to posing as an old wheelchair bound woman as she snuffs out one of her victims at a poorly guarded hospital. Can Dick Malloy foil this mad genius' plans to sell the warheads to the highest bidder and can he also resist the deadly charm of the dangerous Lady Chaplin? How dare you ask such a ridiculous question. Of course he can.

Clark.... Ken Clark.

Secret spies are watching you. They see your every move.

This entry in the Dick Malloy series is as close to the Bond formula that you can get. We have the evil mastermind that hopes to benefit from some sort of global catastrophe, added to that the amazing locations from all over the globe, and finally to top it all off we get the outstanding portrayal of a femme fatale that matches Malloy in all his cunningness and skillful agent ways. In fact the film starts out with a bang as it presents us with the title character Lady Chaplin, played by the Italian knock out Daniela Bianchi. She just happens to be one of the main strengths of the film, as she firmly takes the film by the reigns and plunges right in. We're given this perfect set up for Malloy's formidable oppenent when Lady Chaplin infiltrates a monastery that happens to be a cover for a secret organization. She takes out the monks there in style and right then and there, we get a pretty straight forward idea of what this film is going to be like. Pure fun. Daniela does a tremendous job in bringing this outstanding and memorable character to life. It's nice to know that after her role as Tatiana Romanova in From Russia With Love, that she went on to even more acclaim within the spy world. Her Lady Chaplin character is definitely one for the Eurospy record books.

Ken Clark's looking for that red light special.

Once again, Ken Clark gets the point.

As always, Ken Clark knocks it out of the park as he gives the character Dick Malloy another go. His charismatic and often physical approach to the character is always greatly appreciated by this reviewer. I really wish he would have kept the role going, because I would have loved to go on a few more missions with this legendary super spy. In retrospect, it's nice that they ended the series on a high note and kept the integrity of the series intact. I still think that they could have kept this character alive and well, much like what has happened with the Bond series. There is so much potential in Dick Malloy's spy world and the presence that Ken Clark projected in his three starring roles just begged to be continued for at least a few more missions. Oh well, I'll take what I can get and in this film he gives his most energetic and enthusiastic performance to date.

Lady Chaplin, you are one vain son of a bitch.

Get em Dick Tracy!

Another Bond element that is highly recognizable in this film, is the inclusion of a sub henchmen that's armed with a hook for a hand, complimenting his mean mugged bastard attitude. This noteworthy character filled that familiar void that many memorable Bond villains had satisfied throughout its glorious history, by having the bad guy possess an unorthodox weapon of his choosing. Just like the character of Jaws, from both The Spy Who Loved Me and Moonraker, where he has his razor sharp metallic chompers to bite at Sir James Bond, we see the same thing in Dick Malloy's outing. In Special Mission Lady Chaplin, this mysterious henchmen wields all of his ruthless anger by the tip of his razor sharp hooked hand. There's some pretty entertaining fight scenes in the film, where Agent Malloy is fighting for his life against the overpowering brute. These moments are pretty heavy in the physical nature of the two combatants and we really get a good tension filled altercation as these two immovable objects attempt to usurp the other. This familiar Bond element really adds to the overall enjoyment of the film.

Despite all my rage I am still just a Ken Clark in a cage.

Shit the chicks packing!

The main villain, and overall biggest threat to Malloy's health, is the overly ambitious and the overtly over the top named Kobre Zoltan. Why isn't there a band out there with this name? Mr. Zoltan is played by Jacques Bergerac, who brings a sense of swagger and snobbishness to his role of the well to do submarine researcher. It's interesting that, unlike his Bond villain counterparts, he doesn't want to dominate the world or destroy it, rather he wants to benefit from it's destruction by making a small fortune in the transaction of said weapons of mass destruction to the real terrorists. The fact that he carries an air of arrogance throughout the film, makes him a perfect villain to hate and root against. The only problem is that he shows up sporadically and with nothing much to say, leaving much of the heavy lifting of the plot to be done by his second in arms Lady Chaplin. This problematic plot device is later remedied when the allegiances of Ms. Chaplin come into question. It's at this time that we are finally confronted with who the true villain of this piece is. It's a fun little turn of events and one that makes Special Mission Lady Chaplin the wonderful little yarn of Eurospy goodness that it is.

Ken Clark does his best Donkey Kong impression. Jump the barrel!

Nobody move... I lost a contact lens.

Special Mission Lady Chaplin does a great job of rounding out the Dick Malloy series and ending it on a high and memorable note. The characters are varied and the story is intriguing enough to keep our attention throughout its entire runtime. Ken Clark gives his usual outstanding performance as Agent 077 and there really isn't anything that he doesn't do right in the role. The inclusion of Daniela Bianchi as Lady Chaplin, elevates the film up onto another level, garnering it some great moments and entertaining set pieces. I had a blast with this last of a series and couldn't ask for a better way to close the curtain on this remarkably fun filled journey of Secret Agent 077. This film and the entire series comes highly recommended for spy, Eurospy, and any action film lover that likes their movies to be fun and entertaining. Good stuff.

5 out of 5 guns       A Great Book-End to a Great Series!

i Spy Eurospy: From the Orient With Fury

From the Orient With Fury

Director: Sergio Grieco

Year 1965

From the Orient With Fury is a tremendously entertaining Eurospy film that presents Ken Clark in his second foray as the super spy Dick Malloy. This time Agent 077 must recover a kidnapped scientist and his extraordinary invention, a ray gun that can disintegrate solid matter, from a madman named Goldwyn. Can he recover the stolen weapon and its creator or is the world doomed? Of course the film isn't as melodramatic as all that, mostly relying on the fun aspects of the spy trade; guns, girls, and beautiful exotic sceneries. This films got it all in almost excessive amounts, for you'll forget multiple times what Dick Malloy's ultimate mission really is. Not to worry though because in this Eurospy, style is definitely better then substance, especially when there is this much eye candy and adventure to get lost in.

I'm not just a handsome man, but I also play one on TV.

Why so blue?

Ken Clark does another outstanding job as the titular spy, whose as good at spying as he is with the ladies. And boy is there a helping handful of them in this film. Unlike Clark's first film in the series, Mission Bloody Mary, he's crooning for the affection of just one beautiful damsel in the form of Helga Line, but in From the Orient With Fury he is bombarded with one female starlet after another. It's interesting that they decided to go this route and just go hog wild with Agent 077's love interests. The change makes for a more hectic movie, thowing any kind of structure to the way side in favor of a more dynamic and diverse slew of romantic interactions for Clark's agent to tackle.

Who would have thought that this tender moment would turn into a slap-fest?

A little help here guys.

In Mission Bloody Mary, we had Helga Line's character to help build the tension with whether she was truly on 077's side or if she was working with another opposing organization. That tense uncertainty worked its way through the entire film, all the way up until the end of the movie. In From the Orient With Fury, that narrative bridge that held the previous film together so well is now absent, making for a more muddled mess that feels like a number of separate missions glued together.

Now I love both approaches that each film takes, but for some reason the hectic mess that is From the Orient With Fury, seems just that much more random and fun. I love the assorted nature of it and the uncontrollable and contrasting quality of each one of Dick Malloy's encounters. It's strange, but it just felt more enjoyable not knowing what crazy thing was going to happen next. Does it make for a more coherent story, hell no, but it does make for some insanely entertaining moments.

I oughta slap you, you kooky dame.

Stop in the name of love!

So many women, so little time. Well time doesn't appear to be a factor for old Dick Malloy. In this mission he's tackling three gorgeous women and he's doing it in style. Some are in league with him and some are against him, but all add a special and significant flavor to the film. Fabienne Dali plays the venomous and deadly Simone Degas who takes a slapping of a lifetime from a pissed off Malloy after her failed assassination attempt on the super spy. Spanish actress and singer Mikaela plays a short but memorable role as Dolores Lopez, who has her life turned upside down by Malloy after he wines and dines her and then splits. She performs a magnificent musical number in the small portion of the film that she appears in, but it's a spectacular moment and very meaningful. Then rounding out the ladies is one of Eurospy's most legendary female forces of the genre, Margaret Lee. She plays the character of Evelyn Stone who partners up with Agent 077 to take down the evil Goldwyn. She is absolutely stunning in this film and does a great job of rounding out the cast and complimenting Ken Clark's promiscuous spy.

Damn that Ken Clark is one smooth mother.. shut your mouth.

Thank god I took off my heels and put on my Himalayan walking shoes!

We get a nice array of locations in this film, from Madrid, Istanbul, and the familiar Paris locations that were present in Dick Malloy's first film. The different looks of each locale is equal to the impressive vistas that were featured in Mission Bloody Mary, so the tradition of the Malloy series sustains its exotic wonder and breathtaking views. This is nice, because you really can't have a Eurospy flick without the globe trotting aspect to go along with it. It's just a part of the overall Eurospy recipe.

Add this with the fact that we get a large assortment of exotic femme fatales and a bat shit crazy mad man named Goldwyn, played by Franco Ressel, and you have yourself a strangely satisfying little film. The fact that they kept Ken Clark as super agent Dick Malloy to continue the spies adventures, only solidifies the series as a consistent addition to the Eurospy genre and one that I always love revisiting. Plus the fact that this film has a freaking ray gun that disintegrates anything in its path. A ray gun! Just saying.

Weee! Ray guns are fun!

Shout! Shout! Get this spear out!

From the Orient With Fury is not as established as its predecessor, but what it lacks in cohesive story telling it more then makes up for it with its over the top sub plot and never ending stream of silver screen beauties. The randomness of the film is highly entertaining and some of the sequences that they come up with in the film is actually pretty effective and appealing.

You really can't go wrong with this movie or any of the Ken Clark spy films. They've got something for every Eurospy lover out there and if you're not tickled by at least something in these ridiculously amusing flicks, then maybe you're taking these movies too seriously. Remember it's all in good fun. I highly recommend this film to all Eurospy devotees and to anyone who wants a little adventure and fun in their lives, even if it's lived through the celluloid life of the one and only Dick Malloy.

4 out of 5 guns        A Great Eurospy Adventure With Beauty to Spare!

i Spy Eurospy: Mission Bloody Mary

Mission Bloody Mary

Director: Sergio Grieco

Year 1965

Mission Bloody Mary is a highly entertaining Eurospy flick that stars Ken Clark as an unstoppable and extremely charismatic CIA agent named Dick Malloy aka Agent 077. In true Bond fashion, 077 must find and recover an American nuclear device that has been stolen by the dubious secret organization called the Black Lilly, before they sell the powerful weapon to the Red Chinese or it ends up in other foreign hands. The film moves at a brisk pace, only stopping once in a while, but the overall enjoyment level of this film is right up there with some of the top Eurospy flicks.

This is my red turtleneck! There are many like it, but this one is mine!

Now where the hell did I park the car?

The casting of Ken Clark as super agent Dick Malloy is pure genius and he's one of the main reasons that this film is so enjoyable. His tough guy, suave routine, is spot on and the fact that he is built like a freight train doesn't take away from the overall appearance that this man can wreck some shop when put in a sticky situation. Like his agent counterpart James Bond, Dick Malloy can spout out some good one liners when the situation calls for it. In Agent 077's first mission, Mission Bloody Mary, he offers up a few choice gems, but nothing too over the top and cheesy. What helps Ken Clark's ability to sell his lines is his slick delivery, almost winking to the audience as if he's having as much fun as we are. He projects a confidence that absolutely had me sold during my first viewing of this film and quelled my fears on whether this guy could carry a Eurospy franchise and do it with style. He can and does.

That's right ladies and gentlemen. I'm going to do her by the end of the film.

Take that you son of a bitch!

Now it wouldn't be a Eurospy film without a few beautiful women to decorate it with and this one excels in that department by specializing in one particular German beauty, Helga Line, whose been in more genre films then I can keep track of. It seems she was the go to girl for most of these Eurospy films of the 60's and I've been hard at work trying to track down most of her roles, but still can't seem to find the end of her filmography in this genre. Two of my favorite horror films that she's appeared in are Horror Rises From the Tomb and The Loreley's Grasp. She was stunning in both films and in Mission Bloody Mary, she demands attention in every scene that she appears in. Her role in the film is essential in bringing about many of the intriguing moments in the film. Helga plays Dick Malloy's partner and love interest in the movie, but also provides Malloy's character with a great deal of trouble as he struggles to both bed her and figure out her allegiance. She does an amazing job as usual in both enticing and engaging the audience.

See something you like Helga? Cheeky pervert.

I think Ken Clark is starting to get the point.

Location. Location. Location. That's what Eurospy films are all about. Though they were limited by their small budgets, most Eurospy movies relied on the location of their stories to pump up the overall look of their films and in the process made them look much more expensive then they had any right to be. In Mission Bloody Mary, we are treated with a bevy of locales from Paris to Madrid, providing a lavish look to the film and packing the frame full of stunning landscapes, beautiful coastal towns, and posh casinos all in the dynamic style of Europe 1965. With this first entry in the Dick Malloy spy adventure series, we're introduced to a world that is both beautiful and deadly, but at the same time, so damn fun.

Ken Clark, man about town.

Hello mom, I think I'm in love.

If action is what you crave, then Ken Clark is your man. His portrayal of Dick Malloy is a physical one, throwing caution to the wind and karate chopping every last bad guy until they lay motionless at his feet. You have to commend Clark for his enthusiasm in many of these fight scenes, because you can see him throwing his whole self into it. Being a veteran of Peplum films, where the battles are fast and fierce among the italian sword and sandal epics, Clark employs that same animalistic nature in his fight scenes, lashing out at his attackers like a cornered animal. His athleticism in itself is entertaining to watch but it's  his overall enthusiasm that is infectious as hell.

Which one of you bastards put me in this white jump suit?

Music is another one of those elements that make Eurospy films so enjoyable and Mission Bloody Mary has one of the most wonderful opening songs created by the italian composer Ennio Morricone, entitled Bloody Mary. This haunting yet at the same time groovy track, blasts your eardrums with a tight reoccurring horn sequence that's accompanied by the dynamic vocals of Maurizio Graf. Morricone's musical works are legendary and provide the cinema with some of the most diverse soundtracks that have ever graced the ears of the filmgoing audience. Like his stupendous work on films like The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Once Upon a Time in the West, Cinema Paradiso, and The Untouchables, Ennio Morricone brings the overall feel of Mission Bloody Mary up a notch in just the opening moments of the film from his expressive and lively main title theme.

The end.

Mission Bloody Mary is a great introduction to Eurospy for the uneducated and a perfect stepping stone for the rest of the series to spring off of. It introduces us to a charismatic new agent named Dick Malloy, who has the suave attitude and lethal moves to get the job done and save the day. The look of the film is spot on in that 60's Euro-style way and the various locations that we're presented to in this film is not short of amazing. If you're a fan of Eurospy or someone who just wants to get their feet dirty in the genre, I highly recommend it. It's a damn good fun time.

4 guns out of 5      A Great Addition to Any Eurospy Collection!