VIDEO REVIEW: The Mistresses of Dr. Jekyll

VIDEO REVIEW: Ghidorah - The Three-Headed Monster

VIDEO REVIEW: Mothra vs Godzilla

VIDEO REVIEW: The Earth Dies Screaming

VIDEO REVIEW: The Last Man On Earth

VIDEO REVIEW: Zimmer 13

VIDEO REVIEW: Der Hexer

i SPY EUROSPY: Le monocle rit jaune

Le monocle rit jaune

Director: Georges Lautner

Year 1964

Le monocle rit jaune, AKA The Monocle, is a beautifully filmed and exceptionally silly Eurospy production, which makes outstanding use of its picturesque locations and stark photography. Delving deep into farcical territory and relishing every minute of it, this unusual espionage outing doesn't shy away from the more outlandish elements of the genre, yet embraces it with open arms. Centralized over its eccentric main character and the wacky antics that he gets himself into, The Monocle is without a doubt an exceedingly unique spy entry, one that allows the fun to take over the proceedings and never let go.

It appears that a gang of Asian terrorists have mounted a destructive campaign against world factions who are conducting nuclear research and it is up to French agent Major Theobald Dromard, AKA The Monocle, to bring the bad guys to justice. Flying into Hong Kong, it is up to Dromard, his trusty side kick Poussin, and a handful of unlikely allies, to stop the terrorists and keep safe an American nuclear aircraft carrier that just so happens to be coming into port. With time quickly running out and no trails to follow, can Dromard track down the culprits amidst this clashing of cultures?

Paul Meurisse takes on the role of Theobald Dromard, the unorthodox secret agent who always seems to come out on top. This is the third time that Meurisse has donned the role and I must say that it seems at this point that he really owns the character. I've unfortunately never had the chance to see his previous efforts with the role, but from what I've witnessed in The Monocle, I've made it a priority to hunt down the other two films. His interpretation of a secret agent is as loopy as they come, and it is in this parody infused approach that makes his performance so enjoyable. His actions, smart quips, and running commentary are wildly off the wall and most often entirely off the subject. He even has his own unique way of firing his gun, which proves hilariously to be one hundred percent effective in even the most improbable situations. Meurisse's contributions to the film and the character are among the productions most valuable and effective assets, and it is one that is never left untapped.

Aside from Dromard, the film is also brimming with other interesting and unusual characters. Robert Dalban plays the trusty assistant Poussin, who's hardened looks and drab personality make for a contrasting presence against Dromard's more light heartened nature. Olivier Despax also contributes to the film as Frederic, the young associate who's itching for a piece of the action. As for the feminine touch of the film, the bragging rights go to the legendary horror queen Barbara Steele who portrays the lovely and mysterious Valerie. To my knowledge this is the only spy feature that Steele has been involved in, and I must say it was a nice and unexpected surprise, for the genre suits her. Rounding out the rest of the cast is an assortment of wacky characters that come and go like the wind, but always leave a lasting impression on the overall outlandish nature of the film.

The locations of Hong Kong and Macao are expertly lensed by director Georges Lautner, who also happened to film the first two Monocle entries starring Paul Meurisse. His eye for beautiful imagery is put to the test, as we are given some breathtaking views of this exotic and magical land. Each and every frame is composed with unbridled care, giving a stark contrast against the carefree nature of the film and its characters. The stand out locations of the movie have got to be the harbor scenes, the bustling streets of Hong Kong, and the rundown chapel on top of a hill where Dromard has a most exciting shoot out. In all of these instances the black and white photography shines, making for a fun film that is easy on the eyes and picturesquely perfect.

As for the wacky antics of the film, the moments are aplenty. Dromard's shooting skills for starters are a trip, as he takes on multiple bad guys with ease, even going as far as to taking out two henchmen with one bullet. The guy is a wonder! There is also a completely unforgettable sequence that shows Dromard and friends being attacked by a group of Hong Kong gangsters and a restaurant, who proceed to pull off a dance number in slow motion like they just jumped straight out of West Side Story. It's unbelievably random and completely out of place, but the strangeness of the moment is just so remarkably hypnotizing that it simply feels right. There are a number of instances in the film that capture this kind of magically obscure wonder, and for that alone I highly recommend it. It is a film that is hard to categorize, because it straddles such an odd line between action/espionage and comedy, but it is an unusual concoction that is so unbelievably watchable.

Le monocle rit jaune is a sensationally fun flick that essentially predates the typical Eurospy movie, yet seems to be the stepping stone for what the genre would eventually become in its later years. Entertaining, lighthearted, and full of surprising action, The Monocle is without a doubt a wacky sort of film, one that wears its heart on its sleeve and never apologizes for it. From its beautiful photography and its classic black and white imagery, it's not easy to dismiss the production's visionary prowess.

Paul Meurisse gives an outstanding performance as the comical secret agent Theobald Dromard and his eccentric mannerisms and essential screen presence is a valued asset to the movie's lasting appeal. The same can be said for Robert Dalban, Barbara Steele, and the rest of the cast, as they all bring in outstandingly succinct performances that cater to their various strengths. Essentially it is the film's incessant nature to go against the grain and never tread familiar ground that really makes it such an enjoyable ride. There is always something that happens in the story that spins you for a loop, making you question what will happen next. It is the spontaneous personality of the movie that really makes it a special gem, and it is an aspect of the production that is wholly embraced by its film crew. Unique and unbridled to the last, The Monocle is a film that engages the viewer in multiple ways, yet it always is focused on putting on one hell of an entertaining show. Le monocle rit jaune is.....

Will you guys stop talking! Some people are trying to watch the movie!

Looks like someone is ready to get their Barbara Steele autograph.

How about no smoking in my car A-hole.

No one was impressed with his ceramic pottery making skills.

It's raining men! Hallelujah it's raining men!

Weeeeeeee!!!!!

That's right! You woo the shit out of her Dromard!

You chumps got a staring problem?

Paul Meurisse looks like he just stepped off the set of a biblical epic.

How dare you read such smut in front of Barbara Steele!

The name's Dromard.... Theobald Dromard.

And so the dance battle begins.... I shit you not!

I think I forgot to turn off the oven.

She totally pulls off the Jambi look.

Reservoir Dogs eat your heart out!

This show is hilarious! See! This guy likes it!

Don't mess with Mr. Peanut and his posse.

I'm turning Chinese, I think I'm turning Chinese... I really think so!

REVIEW: The Earth Dies Screaming

The Earth Dies Screaming

Director: Terence Fisher

Year 1964

The Earth Dies Screaming is a low-key, yet highly effective, science fiction film which centers around an alien invasion brought on by menacing robots and reanimated dead corpses. Shot in a classy black in white style and presented in the most earnest of ways, this engaging gem strips its scenery of life as it tells a morbidly twisted tale of Earth's demise by the hands of a mysterious foe. Focusing on its central cast to pull the viewer in, this outstanding effort has a quality to it that you don't find much anymore in this particular genre. With its beautiful photography, unsettling nature, and commendable effects, The Earth Dies Screaming is a respectable feature in which takes its otherworldly aspects and brings them to haunting life.

The film begins when the majority of the Earth's population simultaneously collapse from an unseen force. Rendering all that succumb to the strange phenomenon, a quick and effortless death, the remaining surviving population is forced to gather their wits and confront the problem at hand. A rag-tag group of survivors, led by space pilot Jeff Nolan, hold up in a small village as they try to wrap their heads around all that has been going on. Surrounded by death and without any answers, the group soon comes into contact with strange robotic beings who with one touch, can evaporate a person from existence. Not only that, but the recently dead are now walking the earth, serving as servants of some mysterious master alien race who want nothing more than to bring about the extinction of mankind.

Willard Parker plays the hero of the film, Jeff Nolan, who gathers together the remaining survivors to revolt against their alien attackers. Parker is an outstanding presence in the movie, always taking charge when the time comes for it and basically keeping the group from harms way whenever he can. With The Earth Dies Screaming being basically his only foray into the world of science fiction, I'd say he did a bang up job, and the fact that he takes on the role with a serious and no nonsense disposition makes the believability of his character that much more potent. Taking the central female role of the film is Virginia Field as she plays the character of Peggy. Always in peril and classically attractive, Field works wonders as the innocent and vulnerable woman of the ensemble. Though she is not as strong and capable as her more modern female cinema counterparts, she still manages to hold her own in this male dominated world, and now alien dominated one. The vulnerability of her character is endearing and the moments in which we find her character surrounded by the undead and robot hordes, we come to find a great attachment to her and her role in the film.

As for the rest of the cast, they each fill their respective roles and portray them equally with class, but the one main standout of the bunch is Dennis Price as the loathsome Quinn Taggart. The character is a slim ball, taking every opportunity in trying to sneak Peggy away from the rest of the group, with or without her consent. He even goes so far as to capture her at gunpoint and steal her away. Now that's a pure shithead right there! As much as you love to hate the character of Quinn Taggart, you can't deny the authenticity of Price's delivery. He portrays the man as an opportunistic scumbag, and damn does he do it well. All in all, the entire breadth of the cast is top notch and they essentially give the film a quality that is truly worth visiting again and again.

What is most impressive about The Earth Dies Screaming, is that the film is smothered in a thick ominous tone that never truly lets up. Astonishingly the filmmakers were able to maintain a tremendously effective atmosphere for the entire runtime of the film, which only serves to get more oppressive as the movie moves along. From the very early beginnings of the film, when we are presented with a string of silent depictions of the lifeless, corpse-filled villages streets, to the claustrophobic middle moments when the walking dead and imposing robots begin to terrorize the surviving group, the film makes it perfectly clear that this is a world where danger lurks around every corner. I appreciated that heightened sense of peril and it was perfectly balanced against the film's beautifully captured black and white photography.

The effects of this film are also noteworthy, not in the awe-inspiring sense, but in the practical and simplified one. This is not an over the top blockbuster, where special effects are lambasted across the screen every two or three seconds. This is a subdued and intimate story of survival, which focuses on the interactions of the characters and the altercations that they have with the handful of opposing beings that come up against them. With that in mind, the overall effects are impressive and wholly effective. From the truly mechanical look of the robots, to the dead-like eyes of the walking corpses, this film makes a definitive impression on its audience. Visually, the effects are extraordinary and help with enhancing the already astounding imagery that this production has to offer. If I could summarize this science fiction gem into one word, that word would be beautiful.

The Earth Dies Screaming is a picturesque depiction of what would happen if the world suddenly became a barren and lifeless wasteland in the blink of an eye. Its quiet approach to this concept is exceptionally rendered onto the silver screen, capturing all of those somber moments in an overpowering atmosphere that just blankets this film in a foggy haze of dire circumstance. You truly feel the loneliness of the moment and the seclusion that these characters are going through, and when the antagonists of the picture finally do show up, you feel as if lost in a dream. That's a powerful thing to recreate, but the filmmakers do it with sparing flair, opting to emphasize its overall atmosphere with haunting moments of stillness.

Highlighting this delicate approach is a cast of characters that just seem to inhabit this world through and through. Lost in the same nightmarish dreamscape, the group struggles with the trials and tribulations of this brave new world. As actors in such a unique genre effort, the entire cast does an exceptional job, but it is the standouts of Willard Parker, Virginia Field, and Dennis Price, that truly captivate the focus of this film. Juxtaposed off of them is an outstandingly simple collection of practical effects that only serve to enhance the already otherworldly aspect of the production. Needless to say, I'm a sucker for old black and white science fiction tales, and this one is among one of the finest. Filmed in earnest fashion and constructed with a love for the genre, you really can't ask for more from a film than that. The Earth Dies Screaming is a simple yet effective sci-fi effort with a heavy dose of atmosphere. This flick is.....

Get up you lazy good for nothings!

Something's wrong... Something's amiss!

Alien apocalypse staring contest..... GO!

You know you can't park here buddy.

Damn you and your zombie cleavage!

Creepy robots... are watching you. They see your every move.

You'll never get my groceries! NEVER!

Tell us another story Grandpa Parker.

I see you over there you little sneak.

Taxi! Wait up! Damn! What's a robot got to do to get a ride around this place?

Let me ask again.... Would you like to have sex with me?

Get off the road you stupid robot!

What are you weirdos looking at?

Virginia Field is the next contestant on the Price is Right!

Look what they did to my little robot boy.

Gee Mr. Wizard.... what does that do?

Take this you alien scum!

Shit! Nazi Robots! Damn you Hitler! Damn you to HELL!

BOND 3: Goldfinger

Goldfinger

Director: Guy Hamilton

Year 1964

Goldfinger is the third entry in the long standing Bond series, proving that three times is definitely the charm as Sean Connery comes back to reprise his iconic role with impeccable results. Helmed by Guy Hamilton in his first attempt at presenting the thrilling adventures of agent 007, the movie has a slick style that emphasizes the coolness of the series while at the same time filling out the world of Bond with a more excessive and exuberant fun-filled fashion. With its over the top villains, quirky gadgets, sleek visuals, and sexy women, Goldfinger continues in the same entertaining tradition in which its previous entries have so far established for themselves. The film builds upon what we already know about the Bond world by adding even more to the lucrative franchise in terms of lavish style, breathtaking stunts, and a charming hero that steals the show every time. Who could ask for anything more?

The film centers around a gold obsessed man named Auric Goldfinger, as he plots to raid Fort Knox and decimate the world’s economy. After having a run in with the infamous Goldfinger in Maimi, resulting in one of James Bond’s female flings being painted in gold and killed, James Bond makes it a priority to bring the madman down at any cost. Following the old saying, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer”, Bond offers Goldfinger a lucrative proposition in hopes to get close enough to his organization and unfold his nefarious plot. Unfortunately for Bond, Goldfinger has a ruthless man servant named Oddjob, who would like nothing more than to severe James’ head from his neck, with the flick of his razorblade-brimmed derby. To make matters more complicated Goldfinger also has in his employment a ravishing pilot named Pussy Galore, whose stunning looks and headstrong attitude could very well bring about James Bond’s downfall.

Once again Sean Connery takes on the role of James Bond, marking his third appearance in the role and cementing his legacy as the quintessential 007. The originator of the cool demeanor and stylish swagger, Connery really lets loose this time out as he gives an extremely more playful mindset to the character. His smart remarks and witty banter are a mile a minute in this entry, and it seems that his appetite for the ladies has only increased since his first two outings. I really enjoyed the aura of fun that Goldfinger brings to the table and Sean just soaks it all in as the charismatic hero who always beats the odds. Needless to say, Sean Connery is my favorite of the Bonds and in this entry the fun of the James Bond character really comes into light.

As far as reoccurring characters in the series, Bernard Lee and Lois Maxwell reprise their roles respectively as ‘M’ and Moneypenny, and each of them give a dazzling performance. Maxwell especially hits the mark as Bond’s flirtatious co-worker. The sexual tension between these two is potent and the running gag between them has endured throughout the entire series even leading up to the newest entry Skyfall, in the most satisfactory of ways. When it comes to the rest of the women in James’ life, Shirley Eaton plays the lovely Jill Masterson, a reluctant employee of Goldfinger, while Tania Mallet takes on the role of her sister Tilly Masterson, a revenge seeking sibling you means to take the life of Goldfinger for the death of her sister. Last but definitely not least is Honor Blackman as the tantalizingly named Pussy Galore. Blackman is absolutely stunning in this film, and her character’s headstrong nature and curvaceous ways are to die for. Pussy Galore is definitely a Bond girl that stands at the top of the list of fantastically provocative characters.

That takes us to Goldfinger himself, who with the help of his man servant Oddjob, make for a formidable team. Gert Frobe embodies the role of Auric Goldfinger, as his cocky attitude and lust for wealth really take center stage. The man is a glutton for gold and you can see it in everything he owns and wears. There’s always a nice subtle touch of gold in all that he owns, from his private jet to his finely sewn clothing. Though he isn’t an intimidating presence physically, he leaves that dirty business to his henchmen and polar opposite, Oddjob. The pairing of Goldfinger with Oddjob, played by Harold Sakata, is a highly interesting one and this odd couple never ceases to entertain when sharing the screen. Both actors do an amazing job with their respective characters and you can tell that they are being swept up in the fun as much as we are.

Speaking of being swept away, this mission, as usual, takes Bond on a global journey around the world. From the posh and stylish hotels along the coast in Miami, to the rolling and twisting roads of Geneva, to a poppy farm in Mexico, to some quaint scenes in Baltimore, Maryland and Fort Knox, Kentucky, the film gives off a nice kaleidoscope of 60’s globetrotting goodness. Though not as exotic and international as some of Bond’s other missions, there’s a strange simplicity and tempered approach to the locations that really emphasis what it’s like to be a secret agent in this fictional espionage world, yet lavishly toned down. Even if Goldfinger’s globetrotting isn’t as impressive as 007’s more iconic outings, the over the top and expressive characters more than make up for the familiar territory covered in this film. Combine that with the impressive gadgets that ‘Q’, played by the incomparable Desmond Llewelyn, reveals to Bond and you’ve got yourself one outstanding entry that only serves to build on the legend that we all know and love. Goldfinger is a respectable admission in the series as it begins to really take hold on the things that make a Bond film great and really that’s all I ask with these films.

Goldfinger is a constant reminder on why we love the character of James Bond so much. He’s suave, confident, and always in control, even in the most dire of circumstances. The man is a living legend, born from fiction, and realized by an accomplished actor who is able to exude all of these qualities at the drop of a hat and simply put, it’s all just so much damn fun. From the remarkable gadgets, the picturesque locations, the astoundingly interesting villains, and the jaw dropping beauties that grace the film, you’d have to be dead inside to not at least get a thrill out of something that the movie provides.

As one of Connery’s best efforts, Goldfinger is a perfect example of the formula. We’ve got Gert Frobe as the ridiculously named Goldfinger, we’ve got Honor Blackman as the even more ridiculously named Pussy Galore, and we’ve got Harold Sakata as the strangely aptly named Oddjob. What is there not to like? With its tongue and cheek attitude and Connery’s perfectly delivered lines, Goldfinger is a Bond entry that really ups the fun factor while still focusing on the thrills and chills of the espionage world, and that’s a balancing act worth rooting for. Director Guy Hamilton takes his first stab at the series and really knocks it out of the park as he realizes the perfect combination of cheese and class, the very same formula that has gifted the longevity of the series and has made it so much damn fun to watch. Goldfinger is the gold standard to which the series would branch off from and you really can’t deny that this movie is…..

Do it James you suave bastard you.

Shocking!

Nothing like a backrub from a hot chick to get you smiling.

Well hello there.

You're looking in the wrong place Bond old boy.

Get your lazy gold ass up and answer the phone!

I'm Bond, James Bond, but you already knew that.

So you're a Caddy? What an Oddjob.

Holy shit! Grandma's pissed!

A little help here Goldfinger. My balls are on fire!

My name's Pussy Galore. My word!

I can see my Gold house from here.

What up G?

How about a roll in the hay? Shit ya!

The Odd Couple.

Someone needs to learn about sharing.

What do you think of my Gold little friend?

Any last requests? PUSSY GALORE!!!!