VIDEO REVIEW: Sabata

VIDEO REVIEW: Alive or Preferably Dead

VIDEO REVIEW: All Monsters Attack

VIDEO REVIEW: Santo and the Border of Terror

VIDEO REVIEW: Moon Zero Two

REVIEW: Temptress of a Thousand Faces

Temptress of a Thousand Faces
Director: Chang-hwa Jeong
Year 1969
 
Temptress of a Thousand Faces is an extremely fun Shaw Brothers production that leans towards the ridiculous with its 60’s spy-centric style and over the top antics which depict a master thief who can transform herself in to anyone she pleases. Steeped in campy moments, the film is a fun little crime caper that focuses more on comedy and spectacle over anything else. With a barrage of beautiful locations, elaborate sets, and ingeniously ludicrous plot devices, Temptress of a Thousand Faces is a Hong Kong feature that really delights in thrilling the audience while at the same time tickling their funny bone in the wackiest of ways.
 
The film follows the nefarious dealings of the mysterious Temptress of a Thousand Faces, a master thief who masquerades as different people in order to accomplish her many lucrative heists. Fed up with the unsuccessful attempts of bringing the Temptress to justice, police officer Chi Ying goes on air demanding that the Temptress turn herself in or face the harsh judgment of Chi Ying’s fists. Not taking kindly to Chi’s threats, the Temptress’ thugs pay Ying an unexpected visit. They kidnap her and drag her down to the Temptress’ elaborate underground lair, where she is intimated, tortured, and then set free, but this doesn’t deter Chi’s determination in trying to bring down the Temptress, far from it. If there’s one thing you don’t want to do it’s piss off a woman who can disguise herself as anyone, because wouldn’t you know it, the Temptress begins impersonating Chi during her latest heist and the nasty result lands the real Chi in hot water with her fellow police officers. Can Chi prove her innocence and finally succeed in bringing down this master thief, or will she just be another victim of identity-theft by the inexplicable Temptress of a Thousand Faces?

Tina Chin-Fei plays the role of Chi Ying, the stubborn and highly capable female police officer that will stop at nothing in order to bring the Temptress to justice. Tina is phenomenal in the role, playing both the vulnerable and ass-kicking portions of her character to perfection. Her athletic ability on screen is spectacular and she can really bring the pain when the time calls for it. There is also a great amount of femininity to her role, which is made all the more clear when she uses her good looks and sexual prowess to get her out of a jam. In the film, Chi Ying’s character is thwarted and captured numerous times by the Temptress, but in the most dire of moments, she never gives up and keeps continuing to pursue her query even if it means that she might ruin her reputation in the process. That kind of determination allows the audience to sympathize with her plight and cheer her on as she tries again and again to succeed in her impossible task. That uncompromising drive propels the film onward and at a break-neck pace, making the film an energized spectacle that rarely stops to take a breather. Tina Chin-Fei’s performance is the heart of the movie and you can feel it every step of the way.
 
The secondary player of the piece is Chi Ying’s boyfriend Yu Ta, played by Liang Chen. Yu Ta’s role in the film is an interesting one, because in an unusual turn of events, this male counterpart takes a backseat to his female co-star. In a series of situations within the story of the movie, Yu Ta is resorted to being the pacifist or spectator of many of the action oriented moments, only getting into the action once he goes undercover as a female thief in order to draw the Temptress out of hiding. Liang Chen does a great job with the role reversal and it looks like he had a blast with the cross-dressing portions of the movie. As the film rolls to a close and the big climactic action sequence begins bursting onto the scene, Chen begins to encapsulate the stereotypical spy mold as he gets down and dirty and starts to taking the bad guys out along side his action heroine girlfriend. Without a doubt, the role reversal of Liang Chen’s character is one of the highlights of the film and an excellent choice for turning the genre on its head and trying something different.

Another opportunity that comes along with the role reversal is the inclusion of an over-amplified femme fatale tone that just drowns the film in sexual tension and naughty atmosphere. This is not a risky film by any means and it is far from pornographic, but the filmmakers were very specific in making this film a cut above the rest when it came to beefing up the femme fatale aspects of the movie. Not only that, but they ingeniously mixed in a heavy dose of comedy to smooth over the more sexually centric portions so as to have it blend more within the context of the narrative. For instance, Chi Ying is placed under arrest after the Temptress disguised herself as Chi and went on a jewelry heist, and she is handcuffed in the back of a police van with a male officer escorting her to prison. Chi Ying wisely begins to flirt with the officer by showing off her legs and basically being one exceptionally good cock teaser. Well of course the bumbling cop falls for it and she gets a hold of his gun, takes him hostage, and high-tails it out of there. This moment is replicated again and again, allowing Chi Ying’s character to display both the sexual side of her persona along with the more physical and ass-kicking oriented one which brings us to the action portion of my write-up.
 
Action! Action! Action! There is plenty of heart stopping moments in this film and each actor handles these tremendously uplifting moments with surprising flair and expert athleticism. Just as her performance is sexually charged, Tina Chin-Fei especially gives an outstanding show when it comes to dealing out some punishment and there’s no shortage of that. She’s given some ample opportunities to showcase her fighting skills and emphatic gunplay, and each situation is as well executed as the next. Her character also displays some death-defying stunts, particularly in the rooftop scene where Chi Ying must escape her attackers by jumping from roof to roof until she must eventually shimmy down a drain pipe which stands at a dizzying height, far above the city streets below. Whether this sequence was done with a stunt man or not, the sequence is rather impressive and makes for an exciting moment in the film. As for the movie in general, there is enough action packed moments within its runtime to satisfy any cinema lover, and combined with the comedic aspects of the production this Hong Kong effort is truly an entertaining and obscure wonder.
 
At the end of the day though, the true star of Temptress of a Thousand Faces is the Temptress herself and her ability to transform into anyone. Played by a number of random actors, including Tina Chin-Fei herself, the Temptress is a tricky character indeed and one that is worthy of having their name in the title. Her cunning exploits are legendary and you’ll get a hoot out of all the wacky hijinks she gets herself into and out of on a regular basis, especially her devilish and maniacal plan of posing as Chi Ying and sleeping with her boyfriend. The bitch! This is definitely a film that pulls out all the tricks in delivering a movie that is highly memorable and outstandingly brought to life.

Temptress of a Thousand Faces is a fantastically enjoyable cinematic ride that throws out the conventions of the spy and crime genre, while implying a more sexually charged atmosphere filled with comedy and action. The film does a handful of things and it does them all right, allowing for the main characters of the piece to shine on unparalleled levels. Tina Chin-Fei and Liang Chen thrive in their respective roles, as they both take on the action and comedic portions of their roles with a headstrong attitude that ultimately infects the entire production.
 
With an extra emphasis on hard-hitting fights, death-defying stunts, and tense shoot-outs, Temptress of a Thousand Faces makes for a delightful smorgasbord of 60’s drenched entertainment that really places the viewer’s personal enjoyment at the top of its priority list. On top of that the film introduces a character that is as mysterious as she is engaging, through the wild exploits of the Temptress and her many faces. Her multi-faceted collection of disguises and the collection of actors that portray her are all wonderfully showcased and the inclusion of this plot device is entertaining as all hell. If you’re looking for a cinematic effort that is genuinely wacky and wholly memorable, then give Temptress of a Thousand Faces a try. You won’t be disappointed, but you will be stupefied by the craziness that occurs on screen. This flick is…..

You look absolutely ridiculous.

The sleepover at the Temptress' place wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

Chi Ying looks happy with her futuristic linguire....

..... the only problem is that she forgot to pay for it. SHIT!

Hang in there kiddo.

Nice shot pervert.



Get that light out of my face you multi-faced bitch!

What a wonderful collection.

Do me a favor.... pull my finger.

Looks like you're all washed up buddy.

She's got legs... she knows how to use them.

No more Mr. Nice Guy! Pull my finger or you can't finish your sexin'.

He sure does make an ugly woman, but damn what style!

I'm gonna punch you right in the baby maker.

Weeeeee!

Probably a bad time to go for the old "pull my finger" gag.

You'll never take me alive coppers!

The Temptress gets shot to hell.....

..... and everyone thinks it's hilarious as shit. Hahaha! Perfect ending.

REVIEW: Alive or Preferably Dead

Alive or Preferably Dead
Director: Duccio Tessari
Year 1969
 
Alive or Preferably Dead is a comedy filled spaghetti western that never takes itself too seriously in giving the audience an entertaining thrill ride, packed with wacky antics and memorable moments. Directed by Italian filmmaker Duccio Tessari and performed by a cast of character actors who have frequently collaborated with Tessari on other various projects, the movie turns out to be a fun bit of escapism as we’re presented with the lighter side of the Wild West. With its slapstick style and outstanding production value, Alive or Preferably Dead is an interesting combination that doesn’t fail to amuse in every way possible.
 
The film follows two estranged brothers, Monty and Ted Mulligan, who must live together for six months in order to inherit a hefty sum of $300,000. What at first seems like a simple task turns out to be a catastrophe, because whenever these two brothers get together nothing but calamity follows. These polar opposite siblings go from one out of control situation to the next, taking up bank robbery and even kidnapping in order to pass the time and survive until their six months are up. Will they make it to the end before they kill each other or will something else come between the feuding brothers in the form of a beautiful young woman named Rossella Scott? Hold on to your butts you cow pokes; this is going to be a bumpy ride.

Giuliano Gemma plays one half of the dynamic duo, with the character of Monty Mulligan. He is the more refined of the brothers, as we get a great introduction to his lifestyle and personality in the beginning moments of the film. He is used to the hustle and bustle of city life and after hearing the news about his inheritance, he is thrown for a whirl-wind when relocating to the wild frontier in order to live with his down and dirty brother. Gemma, as usual, plays the role to perfection, giving the character of Monty Mulligan a charismatic demeanor that only Giuliano could ever muster. His charm and wit is proudly showcased in this film, amping of the fun factor of this enjoyable flick by a country mile. To add to that, we even get some of Gemma’s trademark displays that showcase his miraculous athletic ability when it comes to the fight choreography and stunt work of the film. The movie is a mile a minute, and Gemma keeps us thoroughly engaged throughout the entire run time, but I would expect nothing less.
 
Nino Benvenuti takes on the role of Ted Mulligan, the simpler of the two brothers. He would be content living a low key life, far away from the hum drum of society, and he has, up to this point, lived that very same lifestyle. That is until his brother comes into town, and with him, a wrecking ball that demolishes everything that he’s worked so hard for. Nino does an exceptional job as the reluctant brother, who only wants to make an honest living by doing an honest days work. He plays the role of the innocent and pure character that slowly begins to let his wild side run rampant after being introduced to his long lost brother. After getting his house burned to the ground because of the actions of the impulsive Monty, Ted is forced to go out of his comfort zone and Nino plays these parts with wild eyed enthusiasm and a sympathetic heart. It’s not easy following in the footsteps of such a charismatic actor as Giuliano Gemma, but Nino does a respectable job in making his character just as engaging and highly energetic.

The rest of the cast do a wonderful job in rounding out the eclectic group of characters that make up this wild movie world. Antonio Casas plays Barnds, an older gentleman that gets caught up in the out of control lives of the two brothers. He rides along as they rob banks, kidnap a beautiful young lady for a hefty ransom, and even tussle a few times with a local group of bandits that have nothing but distaste for the brothers’ disruptive methods. Casas does a great job with his character and there are many memorable moments of him and his unpredictable automobile, getting into heaps of trouble.
 
Aside from the male roles of the film, Sydne Rome brings a nice feminine touch to her character of Rossella Scott. When first introduced, she is to be the group’s fast ticket to riches when they decide to hold her for ransom, but after finding out that her own father would rather have a long break from her high maintenance driven personality then to pay the demanded fee, they find that they are stuck with her. This sets up a rather surprising relationship between this motley group of four, allowing the film to branch off a bit into the romance department after Ted Mulligan and Rossella begin to have feelings for each other. This dynamic switch in formula mixes in even more trouble for the group and leads to some zany situations that not even I could predict when watching. Sydne Rome looks absolutely mesmerizing as the beautiful but flaky Rossella and her presence adds to the overall diversity of the film’s cast. She does a great job, but unfortunately doesn’t stay too long after being introduced. Though she is there for only a short time, her brief presence weighs heavy on the narrative of the film and she definitely leaves a lasting impact.
 
As for the wacky antics that I keep talking about, there are plenty of them. The brothers see so much off the wall action that it might make your head spin in all its absurdity. We have gun fights galore in this film, and a rather entertaining brawl that includes two bath tubs, loads of soapy bubbles, and a gang of bandits so destructive that they cave in the floor of a second floor building because of the sheer weight of their presence. Not only that, but the fight scenes are highly engaging, allowing both Giuliano Gemma and Nino Benvenuti to show off their stuff. These are two rough and tough actors who aren’t afraid of getting a little dirty or bruised up while filming their stunt work. The fists fly like there’s no tomorrow, and both actors look great when taking on their challengers and sometimes brawling with each other. In retrospect, this film is so filled to the brim with crazy moments and wild situations that you would have thought that the film would have burst from the overload of pleasurable content that is stored within its runtime, but lucky for us the film withstands the jam-packed bedlam.

Alive or Preferably Dead is a fun and enjoyable unknown gem, blending both comedy and western elements to make something completely and utterly ridiculous. The set up of having two completely different brothers forced to live together for six months, is a simple one, but the filmmakers went all out in bringing us something entirely original and unmatched when it comes to the amount of anarchy that one can stuff into a single film.
 
The cast is as boisterous as the string of wild moments that occur in this movie, having both Giuliano Gemma and Nino Benvenuti being the front runners of this colorful piece. Antonio Casas and Sydne Rome are thrilling in their individual roles, with Rome bringing enough sex appeal to the film to catch the attention of any female loving viewers out there. This is one film that from beginning to end, never lets up in pushing the envelope in both the comedy and action aspects of filmmaking. You really have to see it for yourself, because the movie is an event in itself, forcing you to wonder on what bat shit crazy thing will happen next. Alive or Preferably Dead is…..

Gemma you big goof.

Off the road you damn Sunday driver!

I have a problem solver and its name just so happens to be revolver.

Say cheese! That's going to be a good one!

How'd it get burned! How'd it get BURNED!

Check out these three weirdos.

You filthy little scoundrel.

This pajama party is over boys!

Take off that stupid ass hat.

This movie is so fun, I think I might catch the vapors.

This Stay Puft Marshmellow Man costume is going to knock them dead.

Oh my lucky stars! My breast enlargement surgery was a success!

Why won't you die!

Guys.... this wearing the same underwear thing is freaking people out.

Not even the actors can wrap their heads around the wackiness of this flick.

Stop doing that you nincompoop!

Hey shitheads! It doesn't look like you're handling that crate with care!

Look out! It's Ted the ax murderer!

I'm gonna kick you right in the crotch.

REVIEW: Moon Zero Two

Moon Zero Two
Director: Roy Ward Baker
Year 1969
 
It’s Sci-Fi Hammer time! Moon Zero Two is a groovy science fiction film produced by the British horror house, Hammer Film Productions. Set in the far psychedelic future, when man has colonized the moon, space pilot Captain William H. Kemp is offered a lucrative yet illegal job of guiding a sapphire meteor to crash land on the moon’s surface in order for a rich tycoon to become, well, richer.
 
That’s not Kemp’s only moral dilemma, for a beautiful young woman has asked the captain to help assist her on tracking down her lost brother, a moon miner who has suddenly come up missing. Caught between a rock and a hard place, Kemp must figure out how to do both jobs, while staying out of the watchful eyes of the moon police. But what happens when the two jobs become intertwined and Kemp’s personal interests become entangled? Find out in Moon Zero Two….. in space!

The film stars James Olson, of The Andromeda Strain, Amityville 2: The Possession, and Commando fame, as the retired exploration pilot Capt. William Kemp. Olson does a tremendous job in making the character brooding, yet at the same time allowing him to appear like one hell of a cool and fun guy. This swinging astronaut spends most of his time at the wild moon bar, where gaggles of cleavage baring chorus girls provide the patrons some rather interesting dance numbers, but if you can’t find him there, you might find him sulking in a corner reminiscing about how space exploration has been given the ax thanks to budgetary reasons. Poor Kemp.

Don’t feel so bad for the guy just yet, because his life is pretty damn good. Aside from the spandex loving chorus girls, Kemp has his hands full with a few more moon beauties. There’s Elizabeth Murphy, a strict but fair Moon authority, played by Adrienne Corri, who happens to regularly find Kemp relaxing between the sheets on her beyond trippy bed. Then there’s Clementine Taplin, played by Catherine Schell, who has the role of the “fish out of water” girl, who is looking for her missing brother. Both women do a great job in fleshing out Kemp’s character a bit more, allowing for us to witness a gentler side of the Captain. Kemp you old softy.

This film isn’t all about Kemp and his ladies though, far from it. It has a rather interesting story, albeit a far fetched one, filled with a good amount of action and intrigue. I’d go as far as to say that Kemp’s character serves as a futuristic James Bond, pitting him up against an evil genius bent on diabolical plans. The film also allows Kemp to provide some witty and genuinely smart ass lines that wouldn’t be so out of place in the Bond universe. Add the fact that Kemp is frequently getting into some romantically intriguing situations with a few choice femme fatales, makes it that much more familiar to a 60’s spy flick.
 
There’s also a great deal of twists and turns in the narrative that I personally felt were creative and interesting. The film feels like a straight forward affair when first introduced, but you come to find later that there is a great deal of weight to the story, that’s hidden under the wacky psychedelic presentation of the set designs and comedic filled flare.

I especially enjoyed the miniature work done on this film. We get a wonderfully retro envisioned Moon colony, filled with glass domed communities, expansive monorail traveled terrain, and architecturally diverse cityscapes, all from a modest budget. It’s a quaint re-imagining on what society would be like on the Moon’s surface while being embedded with the style and sassiness of the time period in which the film was created in. I’ve always loved this vision of the future and I absolutely eat up the scenery whenever I come across one of these interesting snapshots of 60’s injected future worlds. Moon Zero Two is a great example of this mind set, and the addition of the enjoyable similarities between Kemp’s reluctant hero/ pseudo spy and the staples of the Bond universe and other Eurospy agents is just silly and extremely entertaining. They don’t make them like this anymore and that is a sad but all too real fact.

Moon Zero Two is somewhat of an enigma in the Hammer Films library. While they dabbled in various science fiction themed movies, none of them went as out of left field as this one. Played more for the fun factor of it all, Kemp’s heroic turn as a morally incorruptible space adventurer is a blast, giving us another memorable and wise cracking guy to look up to.

Though the set designs and miniature work are modest at best, there is a special charm found within the production. Simply put, the film just screams fun. If you’re looking for a serious trip into the great unknown or a contemplative look at our society living amongst the stars, then I suggest you look elsewhere. Moon Zero Two doesn’t concern itself with such matters. It only aims to deliver a fun, retro infused ride, and that’s exactly what it accomplishes. Here’s to Kemp and to a movie that is just……..

No way! We've landed on the MOON!

Nice fuckin model!

Get outta here you little pervert!

I'm not talking to you until you take off that ridiculous hat.

Look, I can see my house from here.

The future looks good!

Moonopoly..... Priceless!

Did I forget to turn the iron off again?

Well one of us farted in this elevator.

It's the super group Mr. Peanut and the Fabulous Fruits!

Looks like this dude is pulling a Tom Petty.... Free Falling!

Boo!

Where do you boys come up with these crazy suits?

Now that's some cool ass shit right there!

Alright, everyone smile and say.... Space sucks. That's gonna be a good one!

Kemp..... William Kemp. Bitches!