SLASHER SATURDAY: Sexy Killer

Sexy Killer
Director: Miguel Marti
Year 2008

Wow! This film is off of its rocker and that's a very good thing indeed. Sexy Killer is an abrasive hybrid of horror goodness brought to us from Spain, that delves into so many sub genres that it creates something totally unique, making for a quite entertainingly monstrous film. The film is centered around a young and beautiful college girl named Barbara, who has a pension for killing anything with a pulse. Barbara is played by the strangely alluring Macarena Gomez, who you might remember in Stuart Gordon's aquatic fright film Dagon. In that film she played an entrancing fish woman named Uxia Cambarro, who vied for the attention of the main character as he struggled to stay alive while fighting off deformed fish people. Check it out, it's one of the best H.P. Lovecraft based films out there and highly entertaining. In Sexy Killer, Macarena is front and center, allowing the audience to revel in her over the top portrayal of this serial killer with great fashion sense.

How dare you break wind before me!

This movie is so random and kinetic, that it's hard not to be swept up in the moment. The film skips around from flashback, to the future, then to the past, and then into a fantasy world that all plays out by the over imagination of Barbara and her sick mind. This film is so vibrant with personality that it might just make your head spin. It's definitely in a world of its own and one that unabashedly goes all out to separate itself from the rest of the pack. You can never peg which direction the film is going to go, so you learn to just sit back and enjoy the wild ride as we dip from horror to comedy and to basically everything in between. Sexy Killer is a cornucopia of movie tones which is best compared to an out of control child diagnosed with ADD.

Getting to know the inner killer.

I mentioned the fantasy world that Barbara delves into, but I don't think you get the full impact of what this topsy turvy realm is really like. We are given flashbacks of the Sexy Killer's life, all narrated by Barbara herself, telling us how she came to be a serial killer and why she loves doing the things she does so much. It's interesting as all hell and the energy in this exposition is through the roof fantastic. Then we are thrown deep into her most wild thoughts as we're treated to a bizarre musical number that is best described as a Barbie dream house nightmare, filled with bright colors and fake hairdos. You might ask yourself, what the hell am I watching, but if you stick with the silliness you'll find that this movie's charm begins to rub off on you and you can't help but smile at the absurdity of it all.

Check out this sweet dance number.

Things can get a little weird in this film.

There is so much going on in this film and so many genres that Sexy Killer touches upon that it can get quite confusing in all of the clutter, but in its madness is the central theme that centers all slashers, a high body count. We are given so many cliches of the slasher genre that you might write it off as a spanish version of the Scary Movie franchise, but that would be a dreadful and false thought, because this film is miles above that tired series of films. Sexy Killer has a heart and soul that propels its material into the stratosphere, never settling to stop the narrative for a stupid joke that takes you out of the film and reminds you that you're sitting and watching a montage of horror movie references. Instead, Sexy Killer relies on its unstoppable and unyielding energy to propel the narrative forward as the story twists and turns, following the shining star of Barbara's explosive ego.

How convenient. All of the victims lined up in a neat row.

For most of the film, we are lost in Barbara's fantasy world, where we're never sure if it's reality or a fabrication of her warped mind. This colorful reality is over abundant and never spares on the flare of presenting an eye popping scene that fleshes out just how truly masochistic Barbara really is. She stops the proceedings to show us how to properly kill your victim and she does this in a demented infomercial type way. It's wild and unique and never slows down with its abrasive attitude and flamboyant gusto. The tongue and cheek nature of the film is a breath of fresh air, especially when the story becomes playfully dark, biting off the tongue and splitting the cheek with its nonchalant abuse of violent tendencies and its all encompassing revel in its lust for blood.

Macarena, showing us the proper way to commit a murder.

Oh the beautiful colors. There is never a dull moment in this film. Even when we are stuck in the real world, the look of the film seems to pop with a kaleidoscope lens, refusing to fall into a bland refuse of mediocrity and neglect. There is a life in this film that I've never witnessed before in a horror film, let alone a slasher flick. The only film that has come close in unbridled absurdity is Mary Harron's American Psycho, but that movie only matches the tone of Sexy Killer. Imagine if you will, the over the top nature of American Psycho, but infuse that with the colors of an acid trip and then you would have Sexy Killer. It's really in a league of its own and one that I don't think will ever have company anytime soon. They broke the mold when they created this looney gem.

Ash would call this shot, Groovy!

Now on to the killings, because you can't have a slasher movie without a bunch of dead bodies hitting the floor. In Sexy Killer, we have our fair share of brutal murders, so much so that we even have dead bodies taking out living people as they're thrown out three story windows. Barbara deals death like other people take shits, casually and without concern. She treats it as a natural extension of herself and never thinks twice about morality or consequences. This kind of anti hero would traditionally be wearing a mask and be given little to no back story, but with Barbara's character she straight up tells us her history and the reasoning behind her blood lust. It's a flip side of a totally different coin if you compare her to the Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers of the world. This honesty about the monstrous things that she has done, is quite charming and adds to the overall personality of the film.

Damn, he must have a splitting headache. Yuk Yuk.

Like all good slashers, Barbara likes to play with her intended prey, often setting up elaborate artistically morbid statues formed by the dead bodies of her previous victims, for them to stumble upon. This is the typical M. O. of slasherdom, but Macarena Gomez puts so much energy in her wild eyed killer that she really makes it her own, evoking thoughts that no one else could have pulled off this character with such pizzaz and unfaltering heart. We see shades of Mr. Voorhees in Barbara's killer, as one of the victims hides in a sacred cave that is littered with the bodies of Barbara's latest kills, all posed in provocative and religious poses. It's a great show of respect for the icons that have come before her and a respectful display of admiration for their stupendous work.

He was dying for a role in this movie. Double Yuk Yuk.

The really special parts in this film, happen when Barbara's character speaks to the audience, describing what she is doing and even asking advice on how to execute the final death blow. It's silly and the breaking of the illusion, would in other movies, take you out of the film right away, but for some reason it works in this film and it fits perfectly with the style that has already been presented to us since the opening credits. It's outrageous, whimsical, and down right absurd, but it works on so many levels and is pushed in our face so many times that it becomes second nature and becomes just another added benefit of following this larger then life persona that Barbara carries on her sleeve.

How about a little off the top?

You would think that in a comedy, the violence would be taken down a notch, but when the shit hits the fan in this film, it really hits the fan. Barbara holds back for nothing, plunging a hook into the back of one of her victims and pulling him across the room, leaving a nasty blood trail as his body struggles and flails, in vein for survival. It's gruesome and can shock you after viewing some light hearted scenes and clever dialogue to then be abruptly presented with a visceral image of unapologetic murder. It's a violent contrast and I love it.

Quit hanging around and get back to work.

Now if this film wasn't unique enough, the filmmakers go for broke and offer a new twist to this wild tale. They decide to throw zombies into the mix, and through a conventional plot in the middle of the film, all of Barbara's previous victims have now been drastically brought into the world of the living and are looking for a little revenge on the person that brought them their untimely death. The movie switches gears and we're suddenly brought back to that special moment in Fred Dekker's Night of the Creeps, when Tom Atkins tells the sorority girls that, "I've got good news and bad news, girls. The good news is that your dates are here. The bad news is their dead."

Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey.

With the zombies on the loose, we are given some amazingly iconic shots of some zombie goodness that really goes above and beyond the normal comedy undead film. Sexy Killer gives tremendous respect to the concept of the zombie, and this delicate mutual understanding can be closely compared to the loving tributes of Edgar Wright's Shaun of the Dead. These zombies are scary and viscous as all hell, wanting to do nothing but rip out your throat and call it a death. I was surprised at how authentic the effects were and how truly grotesque the idea is of walking corpses coming to life. They really did an amazing job with the zombie sequences and never used the concept as a comedy crutch, poking fun at the zombie genre, and instead focused on a more loving tribute that held fast to the conventions that make dead films what they are.

The salesmen in this neighborhood are real assholes.

Of course we're given a solid butt kicking ending that piles on the gore and blood as our seriously disturbed heroine proceeds to re-kill her victims all over again in fantastically over the top fashion. There's nothing that's as insanely gory as Peter Jackson's zombie opus Dead Alive, but it does impress and leaves a satisfying grin on your face that you're sure not to get ride of long after the credits dissipate in your mind. Sexy Killer is just a well made slasher that adds so many elements to it that it becomes something else entirely. They've combined elements of comedies, love stories, zombie flicks, science fiction fodder, and crammed it all into a nice and unique slasher build, that really makes a name for itself in both presentation and unparalleled energetic fun.

Bring it on bitches!

Sexy Killer is something that you've never seen before and probably never will again when it comes to a slasher film. The stars seemed to have aligned when this film was constructed, because all of the elements work perfectly together and blend into the most completely beautiful mess that I've ever seen. This could have easily of been a wash out for the fact that it has so many intricate and conflicting parts in this obese horror machine, but the weight of all of these concepts never hinders its ability to tell an entertaining and compellingly amusing story about a woman who's off her rocker and in a world of her own. Sexy Killer has to be seen to be believed and I highly recommend it to anyone that wants to see something different that truly walks to a beat of a different and demented drummer.

4 out of 5 stars    The Most Unique Slasher on the Face of the Planet!

SLASHER SATURDAY: Pieces

Pieces
Director: Juan Piquer Simon
Year 1982

Pieces is one of the most enjoyable films I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing, not because of it's fine qualities, which the film does have, but because of the entertaining characters and the stupid choices they make. This is one of those films you really have to see with a group of friends, because with my circle of friends this film has become the thing of legends.

The film starts out in the 1940's, with a young boy putting together a puzzle of a naked girl. His mom busts in on this fun past time and bitch slaps him a couple of times to teach him a lesson. Well the lesson wasn't understood by the kid and he proceeds to chop up his mom with a large ax. When the cops arrive at the scene they mistaken the boy for a victim and put him into foster care, hopefully with enough sleazy puzzles to keep his insane mind occupied enough to not chop up more people. We then flash forward to 1983 at a college campus in Boston, Massachusetts, where a now grown psycho begins starting a killing spree in the otherwise peaceful university.



The rage of a young pervert is frightening. Don't mess with his nudie puzzles.

The effects in this film are gorishly frightening and deliciously sleazy in that italian slasher, giallo sense. They spare no expense for the flowing of blood and each kill is graphically displayed like a proud kid showing his first place spelling bee trophy. It may be crude and somewhat excessive to form, but for me the gore effects work and are quite well done for this time period and budget. There's nothing like seeing a headless body of some poor woman just basking in the afternoon sun. Goretastic! 

This woman was having such a nice time in the park that she lost her head.

Once the killings start to happen, the university calls on the intuitive skills of Detective Bracken, played by the great Christopher George. Christopher is no stranger to the obscure genre of horror and has starred in many classic flicks like Grizzly, Day of the Animals, and Lucio Fulci's City of the Living Dead, so he's somewhat of a veteran in this field. He brings a kind of swagger to his role as detective and always seems to have the answers even though he has to later enlist a young college student to help him solve the crimes. 

Christopher George is one smug son of a bitch.

As Detective Bracken searches for the identity of the person behind the murders, we are given glimpses of a few suspects that continue to show up in this baffling case. One of our main red herrings is in the form of Popeye's arch enemy Bluto and campus gardener Willard, otherwise known as Paul Smith. He keeps showing up after each one of the murders with a suspicious look on his face, the sneaky bastard. Then there's the dean of the school, played by Edmund Purdom, who seems rather put off by the reputation of the school being compromised by these grizzly murders and doesn't seemed concerned in the slightest about the well being of the other students on campus. Both of these guys are prime suspects, but there still isn't any shred of evidence to place any of them at the scene of the crime.

Bluto says, Dean you are a stupid head.

What really makes this film the ridiculous and marvelous spectacle that it is, is the introduction to one of the most annoying yet cool as shit dudes, Kendall, played by the luckiest actor in the entire world, Ian Sera. This guy is the biggest dork I've ever had the pleasure of knowing, yet he is with a different woman each scene he appears in. How this guy gets the amount of tail he gets in this film, is mind boggling and it doesn't help matters either that he has a curly headed perm and a shit eating grin glued on his face 24 hours a day. In this bizarre world the film is set in, Kendall becomes an intricate part of the ongoing investigation, even getting deputized by Detective Bracken later on in the film. It's madness yet it's so damn entertaining you can't look away.

Jesus christ, look at this guy!

The moments when Willard the gardener is caught multiple times, at the scene of the crime are just hilarious in their ludicrousness. In one of the most outrageous displays of red herringdom, Willard is seen standing by a bloody chainsaw, with blood all over his hands, and a suspicious looking grin as if saying, "Yeah I'm the killer, big woop." To make his case even worse, he fights off the police when they arrive at the scene, making him look like a mad lunatic as he throws them through doors and hulks out better then the legendary Hulk Hogan himself. When we find that he couldn't have possibly committed those crimes because he was somewhere else, the audience is given a big, "What the fuck was this whole set up of Bluto being the killer for!" If it wasn't so hilarious and enjoyable to watch I would have been pretty pissed off, but to me that is what the charm of the film is all about. It doesn't make a lick of sense and I love it for that. Plus how can I stay mad at a face like Willard's.

Just look at that suspicious expression! How are we not
supposed to suspect this guy of committing the murders.

He practically has it stapled on his large forehead!

Ok, now back to the deputizing of Kendall. For some reason, Detective Bracken has a good feeling about Kendall and doesn't suspect him of being the killer even though he's been spotted at the scene of the crime each time the killer slices up one of his victims. Bracken even goes as far as vouching for Kendall's innocence when one of his colleagues wisely mentions Kendall being a prime suspect. The detective spouts these lines of Kendall being a bright kid and the apple of his eye, or some shit like that, and deputizes him making him his partner on this case. Every time Bracken and the rest of the police force are stuck on what do to next, they give Kendall a call, and miraculously he knows what to do. I'd be crying over this horrible plot in the film if I wasn't laughing my ass off over how absurd the notion really is. These moments of Kendall praising by Detective Bracken always bring to mind the line, "Quick get Kendall", as if that silly line was this films answer to "What Would Jesus Do?" The guy is treated like the second coming of christ and he's a full blown tool, as seen in picture below. Now that's Kendall-tastic!

This is the start of their beautiful friendship. What a dream team.

Now before you forget that this is indeed a horror film, there are some brilliant set ups and tension filled scenes of the killer stalking a dancer as she practices her routine after hours at the campus. These moments are rich with voyeuristic intent and bring the old technique of the point of view camera shot into play. The scenes where this concept is used is pure 80's in tone and style and is great to see drawn out as the killer gets closer and closer to his prey. We are even treated to some creepy silhouettes of the killer as he looks through a glass opening in the studio door. Other then the over the top story line of Kendall becoming one with the police, this really is an enjoyable slasher that has a charm of its own. 

Dick Tracy even makes an appearance in this wild film.

The highlights of this film, like in all slasher movies, is when the killer makes his kill. Each murder is more brutal then the next and like I've already mentioned, the camera stays through all of the bloody details. Even chainsaw kills are seen in their entirety, as we watch limbs go flying from bodies, leaving a stream of blood to spout from their bloody stumps. It's pretty bold stuff and nothing seems scaled back or held at bay from the viewers eyes. That is something that I can truly appreciate and be proud of in this topsy turvy film.

The killer is about to take his next victim. Quick get Kendall!

As the bodies begin to pile up, the cops still don't have a clue as to who is performing the murders. The entire cast is full of red herrings and no one is excluded as being a suspect. That is unless your name is Kendall and you have the soft side of velcro on top of your bulbous head. I think we have a winner! If you think Kendall is familiar in this movie, then you might remember him in another Juan Piquer Simon film entitled, The Pod People. That shit stain of a film has the same qualities that make Pieces the entertaining gem that it is. I have only seen the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 version of the film, but the movie centers around a furry creature from space that can do "magic things" and who has the nose of an ant eater and the movements of a midget with a stick up its ass. The MST3K version is actually very hilarious and I recommend you check it out, because there are some classic moments in it. Now back to 'Kendall Saves the Day'.

I must have this group photo framed in my house. Classic.

As the film goes on, we are proven that brutality is the name of the game, as we're witnesses to some gory kills all in the name of slasher cinema. It's very strange to have such a light and fluffy cast in such a heavy blood driven narrative, but that's what we are given in Pieces. You go from a corny scene where Kendall arrives just when the killer is taking his next victim, and Kendall begins ordering around the police officers and they actually listen to his stupid ass, to a graphic shot of a woman getting her skull caved in by a large kitchen knife that proceeds to jut out her mouth. Nasty stuff and to be paired with the idiot stylings of Kendall, is truly rare in any kind of film.

Holy shit! Will someone get Kendall!

I haven't really delved into the acting of this film. Well put on your shit waders, cause this is not a pretty sight. Every actor does their damnedest, but the end result is something rather amusing and entirely opposite of what they were originally trying to convey. Take the character of Mary Riggs for example, played by the lovely Lynda Day George, who also starred alongside Christopher George in Day of the Animals. In her one pivotal scene, she is supposed to be outraged by the killings and how they haven't been able to stop the murderer. She screams at the top of her lungs, "Bastard.... Bastard!", but instead of gaining an oscar worthy performance in this dramatic exposition we are given a scene that provides more laughter then heart felt sympathy for her characters plight. I for one love the scene as it is and revel in all its absurdity, but you can tell that this wasn't the intent of the director. I feel that these missteps actually add to the charm of the film and make it more memorable then if it was played straight forward and effectively came off as that.

I think Kendall is a..... Bastard! Bastard!

I really don't want to give the ending of the film away, because it really should be experience by a group of people that are all viewing the film for the first time. To say the least, it ends in a doozy of a ball busting conclusion, where one of our most beloved characters gets what was coming to him for the entire length of the movie. After this conclusion, I can stomach all the praises of Kendall in the world if it means all of this adoration leads to this moment. The only thing I'll show you is the last shot from the film, where Kendall has one of the most ridiculous expressions ever to grace the slasher movie history books. Enjoy.

Somebody quick, get Kendall's balls on ice!

Pieces is a slasher film that really is a classic in its own sense. For some reason the charm in this film has stayed with me for years and after viewing it recently, the memories have never diminished. It's a goofy but well put together 80's slasher that has all the elements that we love in these stories. It has got the interesting characters that you'd never find in any other genre, its got the lovely ladies of the era, it has the buckets of blood served fresh from the killers brutal slayings, and it has a fun quality to it that really can't be described. This unique element is what makes this film so enjoyable and one that places it in a classic status, remembered by all the good times had while viewing it with great friends. I highly recommend you get a group of friends together this weekend and pop this bad boy into your set. You won't be disappointed at how absurd this slasher film can get and how thoroughly entertaining the whole debacle is. Always remember, what would Kendall do?

4 out of 5 stars      One of the Most Entertaining Slashers Out There!

SLASHER SATURDAY: Torso

Torso
Director: Sergio Martino
Year 1973

Torso is an amazingly stylish and highly overlooked italian slasher film brought to us by the great Sergio Martino, who adds this giallo style slasher to the large list of his stupendous films. This violent film is set in the beautiful streets of Perugia where we follow a group of college students, two in particular. Jane, an American exchange student, played by Suzy Kendall, and Daniela, a ravishing beauty, played by Tina Aumont. We are shown the group of girls as they attend class and then walk the streets of the city. During these segments we are given strange shots of a man in a red and black scarf as he follows the girls movements through the city. Right off we know that this man is a shady character, but we do not as of yet know his true intentions.

Taking a break from class, the girls wander the streets.

Throughout this film, we are constantly reminded of the red scarf and you'll see it crop up in the story over and over again. This clue, which seems quite obvious at first, is a key part of figuring out the film, yet as the story unfolds we are given twists and turns in the plot that make us question the true relevance of this scarf. This is what Sergio does so well with his direction of this film. He gives us so many options and red herrings, that we don't really know who is to blame for these rash of violent and deadly assaults that will soon plague the city of Perugia and its residing countryside.

My what a nice scarf you have.

The better to strangle you with my dear.

After this initial set up of the characters and the environment that they live in, we are treated to our first murder, as we follow a fellow class mate of the group of girls. She meets up with a man and the two go on a naughty night time hook-up in the middle of some ancient ruins. The suspenseful sequence that Martino sets into motion is filled with tension and doubt on the young girl's part. Her hubby sees someone watching them as they make out and he decides to chase the fiend away, leaving her to wait in the car. The moments of her waiting are long and drawn out and help build the tension she is feeling of being left alone in the middle of nowhere. After minutes of silence, the girl gets out of the car and goes to investigate, not knowing if the stranger has taken the life of her boyfriend and might be waiting out in the darkness somewhere.

Not a good place to decide to make out. Creepy as all hell.

Of course, this being a slasher, this girl doesn't have long to live and before you know it the killer appears out of nowhere and begins strangling her with, you guessed it, a red and black patterned scarf. After strangling the life out of her, the killer isn't satisfied and in true sicko fashion, he begins undressing the dead girl and begins slicing and dicing in morbid curiosity, even taking home a souvenir of flesh. This is one sick puppy and we're left to wonder if it is the man that we saw stalking the young girls earlier. At first this seems like an open and shut case, but the plot thickens and begins to blur as we are given brand new evidence and conflicting alibis from our various suspects.

A blade in the dark.

Sergio Martino really does know how to create a stylish and lavish film, providing a beautiful locale like Perugia and scattering his canvas with stunning and exotic women. He has made so many films that rely on these concepts, but also intwines his stories with marvelous twists and intricate plots. He's used this style to great effect, collaborating with the absolutely stunning and legendary Edwige Fenech to make some of the most alluring and interesting Giallos that the genre will ever witness. These wonderful films include The Strange Vice of Mrs. Wardh, All the Colors of the Dark, and Your Vice is a Locked Door and Only I Have the Key. All of these Giallos are excellent and each one is great in their own way. Sergio also created some other memorable films like the fantastically adventurous Island of the Fishmen, the man against nature opus Big Alligator River,  and the Snake Plissken homage 2019: After the Fall of New York. He's really had a great career of making unusual but effect films that always deliver an experience you can't find anywhere else.   

Extra! Extra! Newspapers are dying!

Sergio also gives us many point of view shots of the killer and various other suspects that are lurking around in the girls lives. It's very unsettling and it's a staple of the slasher genre. No slasher would be complete without the killer point of view shot, and Sergio delivers these moments with a graceful sense of a professional voyeur. You can feel the creepiness of the character as he watches his intended prey with a detailed eye. One of these wonderfully still and quite moments occurs inside a car as we are driving by Daniela as she stands on the edge of the street. She sees the man looking at her and she looks right into the camera before the car begins to speed off. It's a strange scene and awkward for the audience to be put in the position of the killer, spying on his prey.

Here comes the voyeuristic peeping tom in his car.

Another great slasher moment in this film that is filled with suspense, is when Carol, one of the students at the college and fellow friends of the main group of girls, attends a stoner party, only to leave the stale scene and journey out into the woods high as a kite. She wanders through the swamps of the woods until she notices a masked man following her. The shot of the killer as he watches her in the distance, covered in a thick hazy fog, is just stunning and really shows how great of an eye Sergio has for producing haunting images. This woods scene is one of the highlights of the film in my opinion, only to be outdone by this films tension filled finale.

Now that is how you shoot a creepy scene.

After the killings continue and the police have no leads on who the killer is, Daniela starts to suspect a boy that she knows intimately as being the killer. She begins receiving strange phone calls and all the evidence seems to be pointing to him, but it all could be in her head. This paranoia that Sergio sets up really is established and effective to the characters perception of this rampant killing spree that seems to have no end. Not knowing if they can trust anyone, the girls are locked in a state of mistrust and they begin seeing the killer in anyone and everything.

Killer: What are you wearing Daniela?

Daniela: A white dress to match my elephant statue.

Killer: Oh. Sexy.

This heightened state of paranoia sends the girls to taking a much needed vacation at Daniela's uncle's villa, where they hope to soak up the sun and breathe in the country air, free of any psycho killers. This plan, though sound in theory, all falls apart after the killer decides to tag along. The location of the villa is spectacularly exquisite on film and it's a perfect location for a mass murder. Set high atop a mountain overlooking a small town far below, it really is breathtaking. The architecture is otherworldly and unique and lays the foundation for a memorable conclusion to this perverted and bloody story.

The symmetrically sound villa of death.

There is also a great voyeuristic sense to Sergio's choice of filming in this movie. We are given many reoccurring shots of the camera looking through things like window frames, trees, bushes, fences, and many other objects. This doesn't happen just once and awhile, but it is almost a constant and conscious decision on Martino's part, happening through most of the film. I for one really love the idea that we are always peering into these people's world, playing the role of the killer or just being nosy voyeurs. It's an interesting concept and one that disconnects you from the violence that is happening on the screen. We watch in the safety of our hiding place as the killer prepares to strike at these innocents, giving us a clear conscious and freeing us from any moral dilemmas or guilt.

Who is that mystery man hiding in the

woods and where did he get that snazzy scarf?

After a long build up and a surprising twist, the killer finally gets down to building up his kill count, taking a severe number of the girls out one by one and doing with their cold bodies what he will. It's chilling, the killer's cool and patient pace, as he proceeds to hack away at the bodies, manipulating them like a child would do with a rag doll. These moments are filmed in that same voyeuristic sense, as we watch from behind a chair, or under a table, or even through a stair's railing. It makes what the killer is doing that much more secretive and sacred as we attempt to peer in on his intimate ritual.

Strangely, we are given only a select

view of this macabre killer in action.

During these entire scenes of graphic mutilation, Jane is left to suffer the agonies of watching her friends being torn apart by this faceless killer, as she views these horrors from the safety of her hiding place. This ending is wonderfully put together, and the cat and mouse game that the killer and Jane have is so rewarding and earns the tension that it delivers. It's very classic in its approach and respectful in its tone as it builds to its frightening conclusion. Sergio Martino hits the mark right on in these sequences and gives us a real treat.

Here, try this scarf on for me.

Without giving the ending away, the killer is never who we're really pushed to believe it to be, but rather a person out of left field with a story point that has subtly been handed to us, but only in short and vague observations. It's a great way to end the film and a fitting way to conclude this moody and violent piece. Torso is known for its sleaze factor, but I believe this is a very respectable and classically filmed movie that rises above the shackles of the eurotrash stereotype and delivers a thoughtful slasher with a style all of its own.

What a beautiful shot on such a horrible day filled with murder.

Torso is an underrated slasher that really needs another chance at being discovered by a new generation of horror fans. This film is shot so personally and the stylistic choice of putting a voyeuristic edge on the visuals makes it that much more compelling. The setting, the cast, and the pace of the entire film make it such a joy to watch and the violence that is set upon the screen is unmatched in most italian Giallos. If you love the genre of either slasher films or Giallos, then I highly recommend giving this one a chance. It's got everything you need in either genre, including ladies, blood, and a psycho killer.

4 out of 5 stars       A Bloody Good Slasher Film With Giallo Roots.

SLASHER SATURDAY: Dr. Giggles

Dr. Giggles
Director: Manny Coto
Year 1992

Dr. Giggles is a hysterical slasher flick with enough one liners to make Arnold Schwarzenegger go crazy and enough creative kills to make Jason Voorhees stand up and cheer. The film never takes itself too seriously and that's part of the fun of this wacky flick.

Is there a doctor in the house cause this

guy doesn't know what the fuck he's doing!

The movie starts out with our crazy Dr. Giggles as he attempts to take the heart out of a security guard. You see, he's just escaped out of his room and is running havoc throughout the asylum by releasing his fellow patients and cutting the arms off people and coping feels on nightly nurses. What a guy.

This is exactly what you don't want to see during your surgery.

After the girl notices that the hands aren't that of her regular pervert doctor she screams and Dr. Giggles utters the fantastic line of, "He should have kept his hands to himself." Cheesy but brilliant. In this opening scene we are treated to so many one liners, that it is hard to believe that it's only the first 5 minutes of the movie. Hot damn we're in for a treat!

The snozberries taste like snozberries.

After Dr. Giggles gory romp through the asylum, he decides to travel home to visit his old house which at this time is a real piece of shit. Surprisingly enough the place isn't torn down and all of his neat stuff that he left there is still right where he left it. Like the hidden doctor's office that resides in the basement, fully equipped with even a waiting room so you can sit around and be bored for an hour before Dr. Giggles gets to open you up and play with your organs. How nice.

Dr. Giggles' beautiful turd of a house.

We are then introduced to our main heroine named Jennifer Campbell, played by an innocent Holly Marie Combs. She does her job perfectly and you can really feel the vulnerability in the fact that her character has a frail heart. Her performance here makes it look as if Scream's Neve Campbell drew a great deal from her performance for her portrayal as Sidney Prescott.

Poor girl. Dr. Giggles will fix you up in a jiffy.

Like all good teen slasher movies, you need a great cast of stereotypical shithead kids and this film does not disappoint. Oh and here they come now up Dr. Giggles driveway to scope out his house and cause some shenanigans. We have Doug E. Doug playing Trotter the typical black guy that you know is going to die first, followed by his main squeeze Leigh, played by Denise Barnes, who is sporting a Kid n Play inspired hairdo. I shit you not. Then we have Stu played by surfer dude himself, Darin Heames with his lovely lady Dianne, played by Deborah Tucker. These will soon be the next patients for Dr. Giggles to operate on.

Lets go knock on the walls and see what we find.

Of course as I mentioned above, Doug E. Doug gets it first, pulling one of the hamiest death scenes to ever grace the silver screen. When he bites it, it looks like what I imagine myself to look like when pinching out a brown one. So if that's what he was going for, then you nailed it Mr. Doug.

Doug E. Doug giving it all it's worth. Get out of my ass you demon!

There are some pretty creative shots throughout this film as the director uses many strange angles to express his demented vision of Dr. Giggles as he performs his various torturous examinations. One of the best ones is when Dr. Giggles is using that damn wooden stick that doctors like to use to hold your tongue down. The camera is filming this entire shot from inside the patients mouth so we get a really interesting angle on the procedure and I think it's just brilliant and adds to the weirdness of it all.

Now open up and say AHHHHHHHHH SHIT!!!!

Larry Drake does an amazing job as Dr. Giggles. He performs the shit out of his killer role and he seems born to play the demented part. His giggles are beyond creepy yet are down right hilarious at the same time. What a strange combo to say the least, but he's definitely made something entirely original with this character and I think he nailed it wonderfully.

Dr. Giggles says, Peek-A-Boo you fucks you.

There is also some great imagery provided by director Manny Coto. Frankly that name seems kind of made up, but I looked it up and it's legit. Coto creates some surprisingly stunning images in this otherwise odd slasher movie. A great image that comes to mind, is when Dr. Giggles is standing outside Jennifer's house under a light post and he's staring up into her window. The way he lays out the composition in the frame and how the lighting is just right is just one of the examples of how Manny can make a pleasing image with a side of creepiness.

Dr. Giggles does make house calls.

There is also another memorable scene that has become some what of a legend with my circle of friends. It's the flashback scene where young Dr. Giggles comes crawling out of his mothers belly after they take her down to the morgue. This scene is just crazy as all hell and really jolts up the horror elements of this film, making you forget for a second about all the silly one liners. This scene is amazing and creeps me right out every time. Who ever the kid is that plays the role of Jr. Giggles is OK in my book.

Earlier in the film he contributes to one of the funniest scenes in the entire flick. His mother has just died and his dad is out of his god damn mind giggling up a storm. Junior hears the giggling and starts to join along with his crazy dad. The last giggle that utters out of juniors mouth is one of the funniest giggles in giggle history. My one friend described it as the sound he would make if someone tickled his ass. His words not mine, but it's so true. This scene will go down in history among my friends.

Go take a bath you little shit, and stop giggling.

Like all good slashers, the bodies start to pile up and what does our good doctor do but collect all the bodies together and put them on display in his waiting room of horrors. It's a fun way to carry on the tradition of storing your bodies in various places like how so many slasher killers do. I enjoyed the scene where Jennifer and her boyfriend see all of their friends as they look bored as hell waiting for their turn at surgery. It's a great macabre like moment.

Damn, and you thought your doctor's office was bad.

We are given a great scene with Dr. Giggles attempting to operate on Jennifer and then being fouled up by that pesky rookie officer who wouldn't stop poking around in the doctor's business. They tussle for a long while and through all of the chaos, someone ends up puncturing one of the gas tanks and the whole place starts to act like Bon Jovi by going down in a blaze of glory.

A face only a mother would love.

We are also treated to a resurrection of sorts as our Dr. Giggles just won't stay dead. He shows up for one last surprise visit at Jennifer's legit operation. He dispatches the real doctors with ease and attempts to perform the heart surgery himself. Well, Jennifer is having nothing of that and she lures him into a storage closet where she shocks the bastard to death. A great ending for a highly entertaining movie that never stops giving you something to giggle about.

It's shocking how much doctor's are charging nowadays.

Tee Hee Hee. And yes I hate myself for making that stupid joke.

All in all, Dr. Giggles is just like the title makes it sound. It's a fun romp through a cartoon like slasher that never lets up on the funny lines but delivers good solid and entertaining kills. If you're having a bunch of friends over and they love to laugh, then put this bad boy in the player and sit back and relax. There's nothing better then viewing a movie that has a sense of humor and knows that they're simply making a film to entertain. That is what this film does so well and I highly recommend it to anyone who has ever gotten the giggles and lived to tell about it.

4 out of 5 stars    A Silly Film With a Tongue and Cheek Edge and Kills to Match.