Merry Christmas… Happy
Holidays…. Happy Festivus…. Or whatever happy greetings you festive nuts
prefer. It’s time to show off my X-Mas Loot!
Christmas has come and gone
and now I’m left with a shitload of new movies for my collection, thanks to my
generous family and that fat bastard named Santa Clause. It’s time for The
Lucid Nightmare’s yearly rundown of loot that I’ve managed to collect over the
holiday festivities and, like usual, there’s some rather fine gems in the mix.
Prepare for an epically long list, because this year was kind of ridiculous! Ho
Ho Holy Shit! I love movies!
PHASE IV
Director: Saul Bass
Year 1974
Killer Ants! I’ve always
been interested in checking out Graphic Designer Saul Bass’ first and only stab
at a feature length film and thankfully I’ll finally have a chance to satisfy
that urge. Phase IV focuses on a phenomenon where ants mysteriously begin
showing signs of intelligence as they wage war on the denizens of a desert
town. To me that just sounds like ridiculous fun and the fact that Bass’ visual
style and impeccable eye is behind the camera, only adds to this film’s appeal.
The movie stars Michael
Murphy and Nigel Davenport as two scientists who are desperately trying to
figure out what is going on. As far as “Nature attacks” movies go, Phase IV
looks to be an artistic effort at the genre that hones in on the more cerebral
aspects of such an event taking place. As I finally have my hands on a copy of
Phase IV, it reminds me that I need to get my ass in gear and purchase my Day
of the Animals DVD. Curse you “Nature attacks” genre and your greatness!
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| Who's up for a Christmas high-five? |
Sayonara Jupiter
Director: Koji Hashimoto
& Sakyo Komatsu
Year 1984
Here’s another film that
I’ve been dying to check out for years, but could never seem to get it
together, for whatever reason, when looking to wrangle up a copy. The
reputation of this curious sci-fi gem is something of an enigma and I’m always
up for some strangeness, especially when it comes from the land of the rising
sun. Luckily Sayonara Jupiter, AKA Bye Bye Jupiter, is finally in the
collection and I can get down to watching some good old wacky Japanese Toho
science fiction.
Sayonara Jupiter tells the
unusual tale of a black hole on a collision course with the Earth. In true
wacky science fiction cinema fashion, the only way to stop this terrible
catastrophe is to blow up Jupiter, changing it into a sun and diverting the
black hole’s trajectory. This is the overall summarization of the film, but the
movie seems to cover a lot of ground within that rather general frame of mind.
Aliens, naked space hippies, and stupendous effects are all I can muster from
the few reviews out there of this film, and for me that has already peaked my
interest. I’m really looking forward to finally seeing this insanity for myself.
Now the next Japanese obscure gem I need to track down is Latitude Zero. Now
there’s a crazy looking movie!
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| Merry Christmas Jupiter! |
Cherry 2000
Director: Steve De Jarnatt
Year
1987
Now this is an
underappreciated gem! Cherry 2000 is a campy science fiction film starring David
Andrews and the super sexy Melanie Griffith. Unusually, I never really cared
for Griffith
Melanie Griffith takes on
the role of E. Johnson, an easy on the eyes renegade tracker, who is hired by
Andrews’ character to track down a replacement model for his now inoperable
android wife. After many crazy antics, the two become close, and this
entertaining gem of a movie begins to morph into a romantic comedy adventure
that is sure to please those out there that appreciate the weird world of
cinema. I’m thankful to get another chance to check this one out, for it truly
is a wild gem of a flick.
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| Thanks for the rocket launcher Santa! |
Arn: The Knight Templar
Director: Peter Flinth
Year 2007
It’s been a while now, but
this international epic is finally in my hands. Arn: The Knight Templar is an
ambitious collaborative production which features a grand tale about a Templar
Knight and is journey for redemption. Contributed by an international crew of
filmmakers from Sweden , United Kingdom , Denmark ,
Norway , Finland , Germany ,
and Morocco
I was initially intrigued by
the prospect of this film when I first heard about it going into production.
Then when it was finally completed and I saw my first visual taste of what the
end product would look like through the form of a trailer, I was rather
impressed. Unfortunately I never got around to checking it out and that was
something that always bothered me. Shot with such an epic feel and centered
around one single Templar’s journey, it seemed to be right up my alley, and now
I can finally sit down and absorb it all in. Should be an interesting ride!
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| Santa.... Have I been naughty or nice? |
The Odessa
Director: Ronald Neame
Year 1974
Jon Voight you beautiful
bastard! The Odessa File is an absolutely outstanding espionage thriller that
tells the story of freelance journalist Peter Miller (Voight) as he is
recruited to go undercover and infiltrate an organization of former SS members
called Odessa
The tension and intrigue of
this flick is at its maximum, and the general atmosphere of the movie is top
notch as we follow Peter Miller deeper and deeper into enemy territory. As
usual, Jon Voight puts out a great performance and he is able to surmount a
tremendous amount of sympathy within this complicated dramatic thriller. It’s
been a few years, but I’m looking forward to revisiting this one and I’m
especially excited to be able to finally add it to the collection.
 |
| I can't believe Santa brought you that stupid ass hat. |
Yokai Monsters: 100 Monsters
Director: Kimiyoshi Yasuda
Year
1968
WTF?!?! That’s what your
reaction will be when you sit down and watch the movie trailer for this most
unusual of films filled with grotesque creatures and other worldly beings. To
say that I’m as excited to see this one as I am creeped out to, is an
understatement, but it looks like the time has come to get down to viewing this
nightmarish and monstrous fantasy film, even if I feel that I might pee myself
when subjected to the horrific disturbing visuals of Yasuda and his weird 100
Monsters.
As far as I can figure it,
the film is about a land developer who wants to bulldoze a shrine and an
apartment building in order to redevelop the land. That’s where the Yokai
monsters come in, which are creatures pulled from Japanese folklore. They are angered
by these destructive actions and they make their presence known in the most
atmospheric and eye-popping ways imaginable. Think a wild fantasy induced
nightmare and that’s what you get with this film. There are two other entries
of films in this series, Spook Warfare and Along with Ghosts, and I figured 100
Monsters would be a great introduction to this wild world of insanity, one that
I’m thinking I will be blissfully happy with. Damn you creepy monsters!
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| Merry Christmas you creepy little bastard! |
Star Trek: Original Motion
Picture Collection
Star Trek: The Motion
Picture
Director: Robert Wise
Year 1979
Growing up, I’ve always been
a Star Wars fan and with that comes an unexplainable tendency to shun other
science fiction movie series that tread on similar ground, case in point the
Star Trek universe. I’ve never in my life seen any of the feature films that
sprung up from the heralded television series, aside from Abrams recent entry,
and I’ve yet to see a single episode of the shows, but seeing that I’m more
open to the idea of taking on the franchise, I’ve decided to overwhelm myself
with every cinematic offering the franchise has to offer. With the inclusion of
both the Original and The Next Generation movie boxsets into my collection,
I’ll be able to explore these engaging stories for the first time ever and I
have a feeling I’m going to love every second of it.
Of course Star Trek: The
Motion Picture is the television series’ first attempt at producing a feature
film and with William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy at the helm, it’s sure to be an
entertaining introduction for myself. So far all I know about the film is that
it centers around a destructive space entity that is spotted approaching the
Earth and Admiral Kirk must resume command of the Starship Enterprise in order
to stop it. Sounds good to me! Coming into this series with only the basic
knowledge of who the characters are, is going to be exceptionally thrilling for
me as the world of Star Trek opens up before me and unveils a whole new world
of science fiction goodness for me to feast on. It should be an exciting
journey.
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| All Ilia wants for Christmas is hair. |
Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan
Director: Nicholas Meyer
Year 1982
The second entry in the Star
Trek Motion Picture series is probably the one that I’ve heard referenced most
about. I can’t imagine how someone could get through this pop culture wasteland
without hearing the words, “KHAN!” and this film is what made that overacted
yell so famous. The film follows James T. Kirk as he goes on a two-week voyage
on the USS Enterprise, which is now a Starfleet Academy
For me, this is the film
that I’m most excited to check out. The general consensus is that it is one of
the cream of the crops of Star Trek films, so I’ve had an expectation of for
this movie that hopefully will match what I’ve conjured up. I’m not too worried
though, because William Shatner never seems to disappoint in my opinion. Though
the guy’s acting style is a bit off-kilter and camp, he’s always entertained me
and that’s all that matters in my book.
 |
| CHRISTMAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS!!!!! |
Star Trek: The Search for
Spock
Director: Leonard Nimoy
Year 1984
Directly following the
events of Wrath of Khan, The Search for Spock picks up depicting a battered USS
Enterprise, a war ravaged crew and a hollow heart. In this third entry of the
series, Admiral Kirk is determined to disobey orders and return to planet
Genesis in order to retrieve Spock’s body. Sounding deeply dramatic and
morbidly curious, I’m looking forward to seeing this defiant crew of space
travelers embark on this dangerous journey and to see all of the ill effects on
screen.
The more I read the
summaries for these films, the more I get excited about immersing myself in the
Star Trek world. Having purposefully avoided anything to do with Star Trek, I
have the unique opportunity of diving right in to the thick of it, absorbing it
all in at once. I have a feeling that the ignorance of my youth, believing that
Star Trek was too talky and serious, is about to pay off, as I’ve now come to
appreciate the more contemplative side of science fiction films and the
futuristic worlds that they can create. That’s thanks in no small part to the
Soviet and East Germany
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| Looks like someone got coal in their Christmas stalkings. |
Star Trek: The Voyage Home
Director: Leonard Nimoy
Year 1986
In the fourth entry of the
series, The Voyage Home, the crew are branded fugitives for their actions in
the previous film and charged with their crimes committed while rescuing their
fellow crew member Spock. But if you think that is bad, you haven’t seen
anything yet. It turns out that there is a space probe on Earth, ravaging the
planet to get a response from a lifeform that no longer exists. To make things
even crazier, Kirk and crew commandeer a captured Klingon Bird of Prey and
travel back in time to the year 1986 in order to recover two humpback whales
that inexplicably can communicate with the probe that is decimating the future
planet Earth.
Holy shit! Is that the
craziest synopsis you’ve ever heard? After reading that, I’m more than ready to
see how all of this comes together and I’m a sucker for a good time-traveling
yarn, so without a doubt I’m looking forward to this unusual fourth entry. It
seems that from the summaries of these films, that they tend to continue
directly off from where the last movie ended and that is a tremendously cool
thing. That’s the one thing that kind of bugs me about Star Wars, in that whole
years go by between each entry, making you wonder just what the hell happened
to all of those characters in those missing moments. It’s nice to hear that
with the Star Trek series, they’ve kept it rather seamless from one entry to
the next, which is refreshing in my eyes.
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| Looks like these guys aren't too thrilled about Christmas. |
Star Trek: The Final
Frontier
Director: William Shatner
Year 1989
In the fifth entry of the
series, Star Trek delves into some interesting concepts, namely religion and
the origins of existence. The film is centered on Spock’s renegade brother
named Sybok, who obsessively commandeers the Enterprise
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| Up yours Spock! I hate Christmas! |
Star Trek: The Next Generation Motion Picture
Collection
Star Trek: Generations
Director: David Carson
Year 1994
Enter the new era of Star
Trek, with Patrick Stewart at the helm and a whole new slew of space adventures
to be had. I have even less knowledge of this Next Generation series of films,
but it does look as if the creators of Star Trek wanted to bring more action to
this era, with a space opera-like feel. Passing the torch so to speak is
Captain James T. Kirk (Shatner) as he opens the film and then bows out to make
way for the new front runner of the series, Stewart as Captain Jean-Luc Pacard.
The film appears to be a
very strange combination of things, both past and future, as we have both
Captains represented in this interesting story. There is even a hint that
suggests that Captain Kirk is a ghost of sorts, guiding Picard and his crew to
thwart the actions of a renegade scientist named Tolian Soran, who is
inexplicably destroying entire star systems. An intriguing proposition to say
the least and it’s nice that this series can allow for this kind of cinematic
handoff, where one lead actor can pass the reigns of the series over to the
next. It should be an interesting entry in the long standing franchise and one
that I’m looking forward to see play out.
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| It's a Christmas staring contest! GO! |
Star Trek: First Contact
Director: Jonathan Frakes
Year 1996
Again replacing Kirk’s
character, Captain Jean-Luc Picard fully takes the reigns of the series,
officially ushering in a fresh group of colorful characters who are all as
diverse and as interesting as the original crew who contributed to this long
standing franchises popularity. First Contact looks to be a handful of fun as
it deals with a great many aspects that appear inherent in the previous admissions
of the series while also adding a race of beings that are highly intimidating.
In this entry the film
focuses on a race of cybernetic beings known as Borgs, who find a way to travel
back in time to manipulate man in the mid-21st century at the cusp
of the discovery of faster-than-light travel. Determined to counter the effects
of the Borg, Picard and crew travel back in time to assist Zefram Cochrane, the
founder of faster-than-light travel, in hopes that they can defeat the Borg
menace. It sounds intriguing, and like I said before, I’m a sucker for
time-travel flicks, so I’m highly anticipating this one to be an entertaining
sci-fi romp.
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| Santa got us cool ass space suits for Christmas. |
Star Trek: Insurrection
Director: Jonathan Frakes
Year 1998
Rebellion looks to be the
name of the game in this entry, as Captain Jean-Luc Picard openly defies the
Federation by siding with the inhabitants of a unique planet after discovering
a disturbing plot against them spearheaded by the Federation’s personal
interests over the planet’s regenerative properties. Sounds like fun to me and
who doesn’t like an underdog story. It always seems like the Star Trek captains
are defying the Federation or ignoring orders in order to complete a more
personal mission, which is always nice to see in a more grounded sci-fi
franchise.
At this point it seems that
Patrick Stewart is comfortable with taking the helm and for being such a
theatrical actor, it should be a real blast to see his commanding performance
as the rebellious Captain Jean-Luc Picard. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it
again, I’m really looking forward to absorbing in all that the Star Trek world
has to offer and I can see myself being a steadfast fan of the series. With
such a longstanding franchise, it’s quite intimidating taking it all in at
once, but I think that I’m up for the challenge. Bring it on you Trekkies!
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| I outta punch you in the mouth for getting me that lame-ass tie! |
Star Trek: Nemesis
Director: Stuart Baird
Year 2002
And now we come to the last
entry in the epic Star Trek franchise, Star Trek: Nemesis. I had the strange
opportunity to introduce myself with the world of Star Trek through the solar
flare lensed J.J. Abrams production as he attempted to re-imagine the series
for a whole new generation in 2009. It’s going to be interesting to see the
differences between this latest entry Nemesis to Abrams Trek film, to see how
much difference seven years and a different director’s take on the material
makes. In my experience it will be a backwards experiment, taking in the
franchise first from Abrams point of view and then back tracking to the start of
the series, ending with Nemesis.
Aside from my personal
experience with the franchise, the actual film in question tells the story of a
supposed truce between the Romulans and Earth, which turn out to be anything
but peaceful once the Enterprise arrives at the Romulans home planet of
Romulus. A baby faced pre-Bane Tom Hardy takes on the role of Shinzon, the main
villain of the piece and it will be interesting to see how he handles such a
demanding role at such an early stage of his career. The man can bring
intensity with the best of them so I’m interested to see what he can bring to
the film. With this being the last of the Star Trek films, I’ll leave you with
this. If there is one thing that I have come away with after researching the
Star Trek series for this write up, it’s that Marina Sirtis is a knock-out! Holy
Christmas Shit! That is all.
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| Another Christmas staring contest! GO! |
Cult Camp Classics
The Colossus
of Rhodes
Director: Sergio Leone
Year 1961
It’s Peplum time! I’ve been
meaning to get my hands on this little collection of historical epics and
finally it’s mine. I haven’t seen any of these films featured in this
collection, so it should really be a treat to sit down and watch all three of
these very interesting looking features. Sergio Leone kicks off this wild bunch
with a cinematic reiteration telling the destruction of one of the Seven
Wonders of the Ancient World, the Colossus of Rhodes .
What’s most interesting to
me about this film is that I’ve only seen Sergio’s Western output, so this
should be an eye-opener for me on what kind of work he did outside the
Spaghetti Western genre. Needless to say that the combination of Sergio Leone
with the cinematic destruction of Apollo’s giant Colossus statue is something
that has definitely peaked my interest and one that I’m fervently getting ready
to dive headlong into. Should be one hell of a fun Peplum time!
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| So how come Santa Clause didn't bring you any pants? |
Land of the Pharaohs
Director: Howard Hawks
Year 1955
As much as I’ve been looking
forward to checking out The Colossus of Rhodes, I’ve been equally enthralled
with the idea of witnessing Ancient Egypt through the eyes of Howard Hawks. Of
course most of my excitement can be chopped up to the fact that the lovely Joan
Collins portrays Princess Nellifer the second wife of Pharaoh Khufu in this
ambitious looking sword and sandals production.
I’ve always been fascinated
with movies based on Ancient Egypt, or placed in Egypt
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| It's a Christmas Day Parade! Yippie!!! |
The Prodigal
Director: Richard Thorpe
Year 1955
Rounding out the Historical
Epics Collection is The Prodigal. The film features a sordid tale of a wealthy
young man who travels to Damascus in hopes of
trying his luck in the big city, only to fall from faith and fortune after
meeting a pagan priestess named Samarra
Lana Turner plays the role
of Samarra
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| I'll take that sweet-ass present under the tree anyday! |
From Beyond the Grave
Director: Kevin Connor
Year
1974
Here’s a sweet little Amicus
anthology for you horror lovers out there. From Beyond the Grave tells four twisted
tales, cultivated by R. Chetwynd-Hayes, which outline the fates of four
customers who try to cheat an antique dealer of a shop called Temptations Ltd.
The stories are varied and delightfully devilish entitled The Gate Crasher, An
Act of Kindness, The Elemental, and The Door, and they are all told by the
proprietor of the shop played by Peter Cushing.
As always Peter Cushing is
in top form and his collaboration with the stories being told is pure British
horror movie bliss. The rest of the cast is absolutely perfect and star
studded, featuring memorable roles by David Warner, Diana Dors, and the
legendary Donald Pleasence. There has been an empty hole in my British Horror
section of my collection and I’m happy to say that it has now been filled by
the inclusion of this wonderful little anthology.
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| Christmas! Bah Humbug! |
Rodan / The War of the
Gargantuas
Rodan
Director: Ishiro Honda
Year 1956
It’s time for an Ishiro
Honda Double Feature! As one of the most prolific and legendary directors of
Japanese cinema, Honda has directed a ridiculous amount of cult films in his
career and I’ve been struggling to keep up with his tremendous output of
quality movies. This double feature is a real treat because these are two of
his films that I have yet to see, but I’ve been dying to get a chance to check
out. If you’re ever on the hunt for quality science fiction films then give an
Ishiro Honda Toho produced movie a try. They are pure entertainment!
The first entry in this two-film
pack is Rodan, and it looks to be an insanely fun time. In true Kaiju form, the
story centers around a giant monster, in this case Rodan, who terrorizes Japan
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| Merry Christmas bitches! |
The War of the Gargantuas
Director: Ishiro Honda
Year 1968
Twelve years later and that
crazy nut Ishiro is still at it! The War of the Gargantuas is the second entry
in this double feature set and one that looks truly and unbelievably out of
control. Also known as Frankenstein’s Monsters, this loopy looking movie pits
two gargantuan creatures against each other but the real strange part of it is
that they are not dressed in the traditional rubber suit that has been the
custom with these kinds of Kaiju films. Instead the main two monsters are
essentially humanoid creatures, just oversized.
My first reaction to seeing
this strange approach kind of made me think that this was ridiculous and silly,
but then I remembered that this was an Ishiro Honda production and I knew that
if anyone could make it work it would be him. Hopefully the end result is
another masterpiece for Honda, but if not it still should be a hell of a fun
time watching two giant human-beings pummel the shit out of themselves, while bulldozering
everything in their path as they rain destruction down on each other. I say….
Lets get it on!
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| Knock it off you two! It's Christmas! |
Conquest of Space
Director: Byron Haskin
Year
1955
You can never have enough
science fiction goodness! Conquest of Space is a 50’s sci-fi film that I’ve
been meaning to check out for a while now. There was a pretty decent copy
floating around on Youtube as of recently, but I just could never find the time
to sit down and give it a viewing. Luckily I can take my time now that I’ve
finally managed to snatch a copy for myself.
Produced by the legendary
George Pal, of The Time Machine fame, and directed by cult filmmaker Byron
Haskin, who brought us such gems as The War of the Worlds, From the Earth to
the Moon and Robinson Crusoe on Mars, this particular production looks
especially inviting. Conquest looks to be an outstanding movie that really
thrives in its Technicolor presentation and otherworldly visuals. Plus the film
seems to feature a mission to the planet Mars and in my book that is always a good
thing. The fanciful ideas that came about around this time period in history
about that mysterious planet are always fantastic and entertaining. To me it
looks like Conquest of Space could be a sci-fi gem and I’m looking forward to
giving it a try.
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| Looks like one hell of a Christmas party! |
Battlestar Galactica – The
Feature Film
Director: Glen A. Larson
Year
1978
Let me start right out with
saying that I’ve never seen an episode of the series Battlestar Galactica. Not
the original late 70’s series or the newer iteration, and from what I understand,
this stand alone film is actually the pilot for the original series or
something along those lines. Being the curious science fiction movie fan I am,
I thought that this would be a great place to start, so here we go with
Battlestar Galactica - The Feature Film.
From the looks of it this is
right up my alley, featuring a fun space adventure that pits a crew of
survivors against a race of robots as they search for a mysterious planet
called Earth. What’s there not to like? The model work, special effects and
overall style look great and the concept catches my attention right from the
gate. I may be late to the party, but I think the world might just have gained itself
a new Battlestar Galactica fan. And was that Jane Seymour that I spotted in the
trailer? SOLD!
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| It was such a beautiful Christmas Card. |
Hercules / Mole Men Against
the Son of Hercules
Director: Pietro Francisci
Year 1958
This particular DVD actually
features two Hercules films, but I’m only going to be focusing on the original
Hercules, seeing as that is the only film that is in its original aspect ratio
and in good visual quality. Mole Men Against the Son of Hercules is included,
but it is in full frame and not the best condition. Be that as it may, it’s
still nice to get another feature film with the original Hercules, even if it
is in a less than stellar presentation.
Steve Reeves takes on the
role of Hercules in this Peplum showstopper while the lovely Sylva Koscina brings
the sexy as only she knows how. I’ve been a huge fan of Sylva’s since I saw her
in Agent 8 ¾, That Man in Istanbul, and Deadlier Than the Male, and seeing her
in one of her Peplum roles is a thing of sheer beauty. Likewise with Steve
Reeves as the man was destined to play Hercules. All in all, this is an
excellent addition to my ridiculously small collection of Peplum films. I’ll
have to remedy that situation soon.
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| Can you at least unchain him for today? It's Christmas! |
Chosen Survivors / The Earth
Dies Screaming
Chosen Survivors
Director: Sutton Roley
Year 1974
It’s time to get bat-shit
crazy…. Literally! Chosen Survivors is the first film in this MGM Midnite Movie
Double Feature and the premise for this movie is a wild one. On the eve of a
nuclear holocaust, a group of individuals are taken from their homes and placed
in a futuristic bomb shelter that lies two miles below the surface of the Earth.
Built to sustain life and weather anything, the shelter is an impregnable
fortress, but there was one thing that the scientists who created it didn’t
anticipate…. Bats! Bloodsucking vampire bats to be specific and they terrorize
the survivors of the colony, taking them out one by one in bloody and grisly
ways. Maybe they should have braved the nuclear holocaust instead.
This is a fun little
production that presents the paranoid moments of a nuclear holocaust to
perfection and then flips the formula by adding in an army of killer bats.
Chosen Survivors is really one of those movies that you have to see to believe,
and surprisingly enough the odd inclusion of vampire bats into the film
actually works, adding nothing but ludicrous fun to the production. If you’ve
been dying to see what happens when a large group of people are swarmed by a
colony of vicious vampire bats all in the confines of a nuclear bomb shelter,
then my friend you’re in luck!
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| Please Santa.... bring me some cool glasses. |
The Earth Dies Screaming
Director: Terence Fisher
Year 1964
The second entry in the MGM
Midnite Movies Double Feature is The Earth Dies Screaming. Directed by Terence
Fisher, this interesting looking little science fiction gem appears to have one
hell of a plotline, one that definitely has me intrigued. In the film a pilot
returns to Earth to find that the planet is now under the control of an alien
race who use killer robots and re-animated dead human bodies to terrorize the
surviving masses of planet Earth. Determined to take back the planet, the pilot
rallies a group of survivors to help fight the alien race and win back the
Earth.
I unfortunately haven’t seen
this one, but I’ve always been interested in checking it out, especially
because it mixes so many ideas together in its sci-fi cauldron. Aliens,
zombies, killer robots… that’s one hell of a combo, and to top it all off the
film is a post apocalyptic story to boot. I’ve found that most anything in the
MGM Midnite Movie collection is worth seeing and I have a feeling that after
watching The Earth Dies Screaming I’ll be singing the same tune. Now I just
have to find some time to witness this obscure offering in all its ambitious
glory.
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| It's those damn Christmas Carolers again! |
Uzumaki
Director: Higuchinsky
Year 2000
Get ready for the weirdest
movie of your life! Uzumaki, AKA Spiral, is a Japanese horror flick that goes
above and beyond the normal strangeness that this particular genre of film is
known for. In this entry, people of a small town become increasingly obsessed
with spirals and slowly but surely everyone begins to go mad. That’s is the basic
premise in a nutshell and for all intensive purposes that is really all you
need to know going in to it.
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| It's going to be a weird Christmas this year. |
Westworld
Director: Michael Crichton
Year
1973
Welcome to the wildest
vacation of your life! Michael Crichton directs this escapist fantasy gone
wrong, which features a futuristic amusement park where you can roleplay, in a
sorts, with robotic characters in fully realized theme worlds. In what first
seems like a fantasy come to life, the rich vacationers soon come to find that
a malfunction has turned the normally subservient robots into armed killers,
particularly a robot gun-slinger who begins stalking the vacationing humans.
 |
| I definitely don't want that for Christmas! |
Wizards
Director: Ralph Bakshi
Year 1977
Ralph Bakshi… enough said!
The man is an animation legend and whenever I obtain one of his efforts for my
always expanding collection, it is a good day. Wizards, like much of his
output, is set in a world that can only be described as Bakshi-esque. The
characters are vibrant, sleazy, strange, and sometimes seductive, and they all
inhabit a world that is equal to all of those parts. His style is like no other
and he has a strong tendency to lace his films with adult situations and
moments that really lift the stories into another realm that is far, far away
from any animated feature of its time. In summary his work is outstanding and
Wizards is a great example of his morbid genius.
Set in a post apocalyptic
future that is half science fiction, half fantasy, Wizards tells the tale of a
small in stature wizard name Avatar as he goes on a mission to stop his evil
twin brother Blackwolf from controlling all of the realms with his technology
infused forces. Presented in the most robust of ways, this animated oddity is
jam packed with iconic imagery in its wonderfully imagined world, filled with
some outstandingly diverse characters who cover a great spectrum of
personalities. I’ve always had a fond heart for Wizards and I love the excess
of Bakshi’s style, especially in this effort, so it was a given that I would
someday be placing this awesome animated adventure into the collection. Looks
like that day has finally come and I couldn’t be happier.
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| Merry Christmas you little weirdos! |
A Man Called Django! /
Django and Sartana’s Showdown in the West
A Man Called Django!
Director: Edoardo Mulargia
Year 1971
It’s time for some Django!
This double feature includes two non Franco Nero iterations of the character
that look to be a whole heap of Spaghetti Western fun. A Man Called Django, AKA
Viva! Django, follows the titular character as he trails some renegade outlaws
who callously raped and killed his wife. Bad idea! As he hunts for the men
responsible, Django comes across a condemned man who is about to be hanged and
rescues him. Interestingly enough, the man knows who is responsible for the
death of Django’s wife and together they set off on hunting the bastards down.
I have to admit that I’m a
virgin when it comes to Django, seeing that I’ve not seen one single version of
many of the official and unofficial films out there. I’ve always been intrigued
by them and I knew that someday I would finally get off my ass and check them
out and I guess that my chance has finally arrived. I would have liked to see
the original Django with Franco Nero first, but seeing that these films have
nothing really to do with his character, because in all seriousness they are
titled Django as more of a marketing tool then anything else, I’m not to
worried about spoiling anything. Plus I can never say no to adding to the
Spaghetti Western collection.
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| Looks like someone isn't going to have a good Christmas. |
Django and Sartana’s
Showdown in the West
Director: Demofilo Fidani
& Diego Spataro
Year 1970
The second part of this
Django Double Feature is Django and Sartana’s Showdown in the West, otherwise
known as Django and Sartana Are Coming… It’s the End. With such lofty titles,
I’m hoping that the film is as equally entertaining and robust. As I’ve
mentioned before, I have no experience in the Django world of movies and I’m
hoping to just jump right into these films and enjoy the hell out of them for
what they are.
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| Give me all of your Christmas presents or you're DEAD! |
The Woman in Black
Director: James Watkins
Year
2012
It’s Hammer Time! Being a
huge fan of Hammer films and relishing in all that this legendary film
production has been able to churn out over the years, I was highly excited to
learn that they would be returning to the cinema world. When the announcement
came that they would be re-envisioning The Woman in Black for a new generation
and placing Daniel Radcliffe in the starring role, I was highly optimistic. I
enjoyed watching him grow as an actor over the course of the Harry Potter films
and I thought that this would be a nice logical step for him in his still
maturing career.
After the film’s release, it
was described as gothic, atmospheric and a great homage to all of those
wonderful Hammer productions that came before it, so I was needless to say
stoked to check it out for myself. As I got mixed up in the chaos that is movie
collecting, I lost track of this film, but always had it in the back of my mind
as one I needed to see for myself. As luck would have it that fat bastard named
Santa Clause felt it was the right time, so the balls in my court to give this
new Hammer film a go.
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| What a shitty place to spend Christmas. |
Keoma
Director: Enzo G. Castellari
Year 1976
Keoma! Franco Nero plays the
role of half-breed Keoma a man who returns to his border hometown after the American
Civil War to find that it is occupied by an ex-Confederate raider and Keoma’s
very own half-brothers. To break their tyrannical rule, Keoma joins forces with
his father’s former ranch hand to exact bloody revenge and free the town from
these newfound and masochistic rulers.
As Spaghetti Western style
films go, Keoma is in a league of its own featuring a surreal-like atmosphere
and trippy mindset that definitely separates itself from the rest of the genre.
I’ve always been a fan of Nero, especially his crime thriller work, and his
guilty pleasure actioneer Enter the Ninja is a thing of ridiculous beauty. It’s
a shame that Keoma is so underrated, but for me it has always been an
entertaining flick.
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| Keoma says, "You better be good for goodness sake!" |
Lost: Season 6
Year 2010
I would call myself a fan of
this engaging series, but after my disappointment with the final season, I kind
of went into hiding and withdrawal over the lackluster ending. Resulting from
my viewing depression, I never ordered the 6th season of Lost, not
really looking forward to revisiting such a letdown of a conclusion. Now don’t
get me wrong, I’m not saying that the ending ruined the whole series for me,
but it made it extra hard for me to want to put down the money to round out my
complete collection of the series, after I was so disappointed with the end.
Luckily my wife bit the
bullet and ordered the last season for me for Christmas so that I can finally
have the complete set. I could go on and on over the things that I loved and
hated about the show, but in the end I don’t want to waste my time. After being
hooked week after week with promises of questions being answered and then
ultimately being hoodwinked by the end of the show’s run with so many things
left untouched, I felt betrayed and abandoned, and if they didn’t feel the need
to put the effort in then I’m not going to put any in divulging my thoughts on
the series. Sorry, bitter rant almost over.
It goes without question
that the ideas that the show brought to light were eye-opening and mind
boggling, and for me I will always treasure those special moments of this
series, but if you don’t wrap up or connect all of these wonderful ideas or
elaborate on the mysteries you conjure up, it leaves the audience with a sour
taste in their mouth, or at least in mine. Be that as it may, I still enjoy the
series for what it is, but the magic doesn’t burn as bright as it did knowing
that it all basically leads nowhere. Even with that sour taste in my mouth,
I’ll still treasure the fact that my Lost collection is now complete.
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| All Jack wants for Christmas are some answers. |
Snow White and the Huntsman
Director: Rupert Sanders
Year 2012
Where the hell did this
fantastic fantasy film come from?!?! I just recently had the chance to check
this movie out and I absolutely loved it. From the effects work to the
stupendous characters, the film had it all, and I was quite surprised on how
much I really dug the movie. Of course this is a loose retelling of the famous
Snow White story, which is infused with a dark fantasy feel that just gives it
a superb edge over the other iterations.
The movie is filled with
some great and magical moments and it’s performed commendably by a very diverse
cast of actors. Charize Theron, Chris Hemsworth, Kristen Stewart, Sam Claflin,
Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins, all do a tremendous job, with small magical moments
provided by Ray Winstone, Nick Frost, Toby Hones and the rest of the eclectic
cast. Out of all of the movies of 2012, I found that Snow White and the
Huntsman was the biggest surprise for my movie loving eyes, and I’m happy to
report that it has found a home on my shelf next to my other favorite fantasy
flicks.
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| I bet sugar plums are dancing in her head. |
Ancient Aliens: Season 3
Year 2011
Those damn aliens are at it
again! I can’t get enough of this show and its alternate look at man’s history.
The possibilities that these Ancient Astronaut theorists bring up over the
course of this series are so thought-provoking and genuinely mind-boggling that
you can’t help but be swept up in the epic nature of it all, whether it’s true
or not. I take in their theories with an open mind and view them as an
inspirational doorway that showcases what could lie beyond what we don’t know
about the universe and our past. The ideas are like something out of a
science-fiction film, yet they are always based on some sort of solid evidence
or relatable concept so as to give them a tinge of authenticity, and in that
process it makes for some compelling viewing.
For me one of the most
enduring things about this show is that it sparks so many ideas and theories
that you could literally make hundreds of science fiction stories off of the
series’ many subjects. I only wish that more sci-fi movies had the same mind
set that these scientists and theorists have, as they delve deep into what
makes us who we are while contradicting everything that we have been told is
true up until this point of time. In my opinion, Prometheus was the closest
thing to having an Ancient Aliens live action film and hopefully the ideas in
this show will spark a more thought-provoking approach to science fiction films
in the future. Whether you’re a believer or not, the series is an interesting
look into an alternate history that really makes you think about what is real
and what is fiction. So glad that I finally have my Season 3!
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| What a thoughtful gift! |
….. And that concludes this
year’s X-Mas Loot segment and if you stayed through the whole thing, you deserve
a damn present yourself! Take care guys and have a Happy New Year!
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