i SPY EUROSPY: Death on a Rainy Day

Death on a Rainy Day
Director: Ramon Comas
Year 1967
 
Death on a Rainy Day AKA Scorpions and Miniskirts is a Eurospy film that shows just how far the stereotypical secret agent can go when pushed to the max. The film follows the espionage exploits of two horned-up agents, Paul Riviera and Bruno Nussak. Both men are constantly getting into trouble, mostly resulting from their insatiable thirst for attention from the opposite sex. Most of these moments are comical and filled with antics, but some start to delve into uncomfortable territories when their sex-capades come on a little too strong for more then a few unwilling participants. Then again this is a Eurospy flick, so bring on the cheesy fun.
 
In Death on a Rainy Day, the agents are sent to Hong Kong to apprehend a perfume bottle that holds a secret. The secret is so juicy that they’re not the only ones that want to get their hands on it. Chinese gangsters abound, as the dynamic duo globe trot in search of the secret while at the same time picking up a few women on the way. This is a Eurospy that defines the method of tongue and cheek espionage, never taking the mission too serious and always willing to halt everything in order to score a little tail. Sounds like a ridiculous amount of fun is to be had with this film, so let’s open this baby up.

The two main characters of this film are exactly that, characters. They are the stereotypical Bond type that us Eurospy lovers can’t get enough of, but what’s different with these guys is that they are Bond on steroids. They fear nothing, they shoot at anything, and they hit on women at least every five minutes in this movie. It doesn’t matter what the situation is or where they are at the time. They stop everything they are doing in attempt to bag a gal for the night. It’s almost too comical and it’s hard to tell if this is a satirical approach to the material, or a straight forward representation of how the filmmakers wanted their characters to come off, but either way it makes for an entertaining spectacle.
 
Paul Riviera, played by Adrian Hoven, is more of the leader of the bunch, getting most of the screen time as the mission goes along. He’s also the pushier of the two agents, allowing himself to use force when necessary to get the girls’ attentions. There’s an awkward scene during the end of this film that borderlines on rape, when Riviera takes out the main bad guy and then puts the moves on his female henchman. Needless to say the term ‘no means no’ is something that Riviera would not necessarily care to acknowledge. Shit, he’d probably just make some smart ass comment like ‘yes means yes’ and continue forcing himself on the woman, the sexual deviant. But I can’t stay mad at good old Paul. The guy is definitely a character, with enough goofy charm to overlook his more unflattering traits.
 
Then there’s Bruno Nussak, played by Barth Warren, who is as equally horned up as Riviera but has enough sense as to not delve into rapist territory. He has his fair share of side comments and failed efforts, but he for the most part plays it cool. Well as cool as a person with the name Bruno can be. He still has his strange moments though, like when he broke into a bathroom full of girls to apparently just scare the shit out of them while they were half naked. That was fun, but in the end, pointless. When you put these two characters together, the combination makes for some wild moments. Also, the playful competitions that they have with each other over women are funny, adding an extra bit of depth to their relationship and in affect their overall charm.

Some of these ongoing antics result in the duo picking up new members, especially female members, of their team. Like most Eurospy films, there’s a great deal of globetrotting for the two characters and on these expeditions they start to gather a rather respectable collection of women. Each locale they visit has them rescuing a damsel in distress, ultimately having the rescued woman tag along for the rest of the movie. After a number of successful outings, the agents’ Commander even mentions something about not bringing their personal harem around the office. The plot device was actually pretty entertaining and I couldn’t help wondering how big their crew was going to end up being by the time the credits finally started to role.
 
Aside from the women chasing, Death on a Rainy Day is jam packed with action. One of the films greatest assets is that it’s a kinetic film in every sense of the word. The story never stops, going from one action set piece to the next, often spilling over into other scenes with a chaotic abandon that mirrors a runaway train. One of the best instances of this reckless nature would have to be the massage parlor fight scene. It’s at this point of the film, where our two agents have been captured by the Chinese gangsters, along with their three female companions. They manage to escape their bonds and begin to engage the bad guys, taking them on one by one, when the fight suddenly crashes into an underground roulette club sparking an all out brawl of epic proportions.

After the fight turns the club into a war zone, it then spills into a neighboring massage parlor, filled with naked woman and a bunch of pissed of patrons angered over having their night time jollies interrupted. So wouldn’t you know it another epic brawl ignites, forcing the owner of the establishment, an elderly woman, to jump into action and start kicking ass. It’s a great end to an extremely in depth sequence and it’s not the only one in this film to have that grand scale and chaotic nature. Fun... Fun...Fun.

Death on a Rainy Day is exactly what you would expect of a film with an alternate title like Scorpions and Miniskirts. It’s fun and frantic, never taking itself seriously at all, but still providing enough action and mayhem to make things entertaining. Both Adrian Hoven and Barth Warren do an exceptional job at playing the girl crazed agents. They appear to be having a blast while filming this movie and you can’t help but let that enthusiasm rub off on yourself when watching it all play out.
 
Eurospy films are an interesting breed that range from Cold War espionage styled seriousness to wacky tropical fun-filled romps that don’t seem to have a care in the world. Death on a Rainy Day is the extreme later of the spread and there’s nothing wrong with that. Who doesn’t like to have a little ridiculous fun every once and a while and with this film you’ll get your fill. Check it out if you need a pick me up. I’m certain you’ll have a…….

You can never keep a good dead man down.

I have chained slave women. Pretty cool huh?

After I'm done raping your foot, I'm coming for the rest of you.

These guys just don't understand the word no.

Damn it feels good to be a Chinese gangsta.

Well now that just aint right!

So I like chicks. No big woop.

After I shoot you, I'm going to deflower your girl. Take that!

Nothing like a dead body to get the old mojo going.

Now that's the life!

It's the GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS! Motley Crue Academy.

There, now I've made you over into a total nerd.

Can I get one last request? Sex please!

It's OK baby. Just let it happen. Nice Paul. Real nice.

The End.